Cruises Dot Co Dot UK

Welcome onboard for 2023 – The year of the Rabbit.

While 2023 heralds the Chinese New Year of the Rabbit one could be forgiven if one thought that on CruiseDot’s forum it was the year of the …Sisterhood.

And with good reason of course. Casting one’s mind back over the last decade the so called ‘Largest UK Cruise forum’ has visibly deteriorated from a serious discussion site to something more resembling a facebook chat room for those that are afraid to use facebook.

With only a bare handful of members actually cruising over the last three years it has been left to the Sisterhood to promote banal chat on just about any subject from ‘Trick or Treat’ to ‘Prince Andrew spares some blushes’ not related to cruising. The old proprietors of CruiseDot must be so embarrassed by it  now and probably relieved that they sold out a few years ago.

So who are the Sisterhood?

Before we take a satirical look at their screen characters and in no order of seniority, these screen names should easily ring a bell. They’ve all featured in past revelations on this column…

Smith 7 – aka the playmates very own Jolly Jill

Annie Glasgow – the weirdo Glaswegian Spinster

Mrs M – the undisputed forum Matriarch

Mason, Altrincham – US refugee and resident expert on there UK Monarchy

Carol, Welwyn Garden – Forum’s U-turn expert

ev’n’clive Hengoed – aka Hengoed Heather

Sandraggg, Newcastle – the forum’s resident female socialist

Gill Nickson, Albox – aka the playmates Gillzajoker

Where does one begin? To be frank there is so much drivel written by these members one could start anywhere, but here’s a few examples of the non cruise subjects the sisterhood initiate …

External Christmas Decorations (Annie) …

Pre-book Santa Grotto Visits (Annie)….

Do we REALLY need to know that (Mason)…

Andrew spares some blushes (Mason)…

Trick or Treat (Mason)…👻🎃

…as just a few examples.


But let’s go alphabetical and start with the Glaswegian weirdo spinster, Annie…

At the time of writing Annie has actually gone AWOL and hasn’t posted on either the CD or CC forums since 16 January. This must cause some concern but this member spends more than half her life trawling cruise forums and Youtube cruise videos. She’s not averse either to telling the world she’s picked up something from ‘the other place’: a code name for the popular Cruise Critic  site. What’s really strange about this however is the fact she scrutinises every cruise lines pages – whether she is or has cruised with them before. Even the UK lines which so professes so vehemently that she would never cruise on them.

One does wonder on this evidence what kind of life this poor woman has.


Not too dissimilar one would guess to the outcast in Albox, Spain, Gill Nickson aka playmate Gillsajoker.

Another no longer cruising refugee from the playmates website who came scurrying back when that site folded through lack of interest and mega boredom. Fascinating to see her the only contributor in a full 24 hour period up to 11.00 am on 31 January 2023…


(Work in Progress updating)





Good to see at least one member of CruiseDot’s dwindling band of experts is keeping up standards. Even better to see Wansbrough following in the footsteps of Solent Richard with a running blog of a combined package tour of India’s Golden Triangle and cruise along the River Ganges.

It has been an interesting sideshow to compare his Uniworld arranged package with the package taken by Solent Richard and produced by APT…

India’s Golden Triangle


followed by the cruise along the Ganges…


RV Rajmahal River Ganges Cruise.

No doubt in time Wansbrough will update his 12 daily sheets into a full blog, but in the meantime do feel free to follow SR’s comprehensive reviews.

Well done CD’s Garfield for copying across the links. What a shame to community have only managed a handful of comments but one can only guess that this kind of cruise is well out of the reach of most there.



Following on from Covid lockdowns and what turned out to be a rather mild winter and bright Easter,  there have been some interesting contributions to record on these pages. Obviously the heat of the long hot summer got to a number of the dwindling numbers of contributors to the CruiseDot forum.

Non more so than from the sisterhood: that band of females occupying the talking shop with little social life outside of their tablets. They’ve all been mentioned before but there’s been a definite concerted effort to outdo each other for the most ridiculous non-cruising contributions.

Remaining head and shoulders above the pack is the Annie, the weirdo Glaswegian spinster whom one wonders where she finds the time to not just contribute to CruiseDot but incessantly trawl what she refers to as ‘the Other Place’. (Code for the Cruise Critic website where weekly contributions to single cruise line pages outstrips a months contributions across the whole of the CruiseDot site).

Indeed, she’s become the ‘cut & paste merchant of note…

Whats really intriguing is the fact that not only were these contributions timed at 8.10 pm and 10.18 pm, they were peculiar to a cruise line (P&O) that the weirdo spinster professes never to have cruised with or have an interest in. Indeed, for those who know her, and Topdeck is already on the case, she hasn’t cruised fo almost 3 years now.

…and it goes on…


There’s only the thickness of a cigarette paper to distinguish between the next two sisterhood members: Hengoed Heather (aka ev’n’clive) and ex playmate Jolly Jill (aka Smith 7). Both are Fred Olsen fans





Great news for those amongst the cabal of die hard CruiseDot contributors yearn to have a ‘Place by the Sea’. Stand fast Jolly Jill, aka Smith 7, this is well out of your depth.

One of you too can join Solent Richard in the most prestigious block on the Lee waterfront…


Just imagine, every cruise ship sailing into and out of Southampton will pass your balcony, a mere 25 minutes by taxi to Southampton’s cruise terminals, and a social opportunity not to be missed…

A rare and exciting opportunity to acquire one of the penthouses in the highly regarded Southwater House. This spacious apartment enjoys the most delightful and uninterrupted views over the Solent & Isle of Wight and has been beautifully and tastefully decorated by the current owners…




The 2022 Easter Update

With cruising gradually returning to more acceptable levels one would imagine that the quality of the CruiseDot Forum would start to improve.

Unfortunately the bar was set at a pretty low level during the Covid restrictions and the remaining coterie of contributors – who obviously lack a meaningful life outside the confines of cruising – are now struggling to cast off their expert virologist mantras and rebuild their reputations for dedicated and amusing budget cruisers.

Firstly spare a thought for one poor member who resorted to ‘biting the hand that feeds her’ and broke with tradition in nailing CruiseDot for their poor record in issuing refunds…


You can follow the full thread here…

‘We are still waiting for a refund on our cancelled cruise on Aurora. We cancelled 8 weeks ago and still not had a refund. I have left messages with the person who we booked with but he hasn’t responded. I know people who booked with Bolsover have already had theirs and bookings direct with P&O were refunded within 10 days. I have now messaged customer relations and waiting for a reply.
We are in a position to book alternative holidays and have had 2 since we cancelled but not everyone can do this. I think it is wrong for to hold on to refunds for so long.’

What was particularly amazing was that the thread jumped from nowhere on 23 March…


…to the Hottest (and only topic) in less than 48 hours…


and by 27 March had accumulated 1977 views and 39 Responses. Not a good image for the company.


Next up, the membership sheds their Virologist coats & credentials to become political pundits – or in one case, an American refugee becomes an expert on the British Monarchy.

Stay tuned folks



It is with considerable sadness that Solent Richard has to announce that Whitstable Dave, a former member who quit CruiseDot in a huff some 10 years ago, and popularly known as The Master & Commander,  has, as predicted on this blog, finally abandoned ship and scuttled his revolutionary cruise forum.

Alas,  –  more popularly known in the cruising community as ‘playmates’ –  has slipped its moorings for the final time and been committed to the deep – sunk without trace…


This will come as shocking news to some current CruiseDot members, particularly those who rushed to join Dave’s revolutionaries, among them Smith7 (playmate Jolly Jill), Gill Nickson (playmate Gillzajoker) and Cruise Widower aka Stan Dupp (Playmate Stan Deasy). Others included jc, Liverpool, Spud from Newcastle (Jarrow) and of course the real coven superstar and queen of sock puppets, Diva 18.

Longer serving CD members will recall how Cruisingmates forum had a private lounge not viewable by non-members. It was here they conducted their vitriolic slanging matches against CruiseDot and its membership. Funny how things go round to see them back on CruiseDot as if butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths.

But spare a thought also for the devastation our turncoats must feel having invested so heavily in playmate’s  promotion material…




Isn’t it so wonderful what one can find on the internet?  You couldn’t make it up, you really couldn’t.


Out of Lockdown and normal service is resumed.

And so as Covid-19 restrictions  eased,  cruise lines  started dipping their toes in the water so as to speak with short ‘Seacation cruises’ that followed strict health and safety measures above and beyond what had ever been experienced before.

And who would have believed, let alone placed money on it, that the first off the blocks CruiseDot Forum report would turn out to be a mega ‘Moanfest’ from someone who should really have known better…

Of course the small truly sanitised membership coterie no longer have the courage, or the will,  to point out anyone’s shortcomings these days and the whole 3 part review was accepted as a complete failing by Princess cruises without even a whimper.

One must actually confess to almost losing the will to live before reaching the third paragraph but hey, here was a cruiser with 56 years of experience who decided to take a 3 day ‘Seacation’ with a cruise line normally considered out of their comfort zone and particularly strange when considering the fact that their favourite cruise line, Celebrity, were also running similar ‘Seacation’ cruises from Southampton with Celebrity Silhouette. How strange!

What then transpired, and certainly wasn’t picked up by the membership, was what really went wrong was really all down to the fact that, like so many of our forum heroes, they haven’t embraced modern technology. Any wonder then that one’s over 4 year old iPhone, that isn’t  even linked to accept emails, wouldn’t perform with the Princess Cruises App – an integral part of the new measures designed to get cruisers back to sea.

Again, one can only surmise that without the google map App either, the chances of not finding the test centre were dramatically increased. Not much point blaming Princess Cruises there then.

And here of course we get the difference between a CruiseDot forum member and the now more open facebook community. If only Bradbury had opted for a P&O, Saga or MSC  Seacation,  all might have been so different…





…and even MSC…


One really should of course truly thank Bradbury for her review. It certainly brought out the best in one or two of the ‘CruiseDot Bubble’ and Solent Richard selected one particular comment as the  gem of the month from member PeterM of Southwell, Comment # 40 on…

“Yes, and experienced cruisers like most of us on the forum, and used to “the old days” will not accept this…..”

Nothing like having a high opinion of oneself then. Kind of sums them up really.


More coming up. Be sure to follow Solent Richard on his ‘Seacation’ onboard Richard Branson’s Virgin Scarlet Lady…






St Valentine’s 2021 Update


A warm welcome to one and all. There definitely appears to be a light at the end of the ‘Lockdown Tunnel’ and, with so much satirical material  being produced over on the CruiseDot forum, it would be pure madness not to utilise any excuse for a mid-term update of the membership’s antics.

Don’t forget though that one of the two delightful seaside (actual waterfront) apartments that were for sale in January still remains. Scroll down to the ‘Stop Press’ update  for further details.

While there was been some tough competition on who, or what subject, would lead this particular update Solent Richard guesses it’s only fair to use the event that involves the most people. So we will kick off immediately with the outstanding news regarding the return of the Prodigal Children.

Older readers will recall the days back in early 2011 when a guy named Dave Lane from Whitstable decided to instigate a revolution against the CruiseDot Forum and led a small number of rather insignificant and  mainly budget cruising members out of the forum to join his then vanity project called http://www.Cruisingmates which, soon took on the mockingly rather original SR inspired  tag of ‘Playmates’.

Amongst those whom Dave, aka the rather nauseating titled ‘Master & Commander’, shepherded away were members who went by the screen names of Smith 7, Diva18, Spud, Annie Glasgow, StanDupp, Tomvet and Gill Nickson.

History now tells us that the ‘Playmates’ site eventually fell into faster decline than any of the other UK cruising forum sites as it struggled to hold any interest for any serious cruiser.

This of course became anathema to the likes of Smith7, aka Jolly Jill over on Playmates: she definitely needs the oxygen of monotonous drivel  to fill an obvious void in her social life.  So she returned to CruiseDot, initially with her tail between her legs,  having meanwhile been downgraded on Playmates from holding a moderator status. All due to  a falling out with the Admin Team over her support and friendship for the serial misogynist Tomvet.

Are we ashamed of our Irish friend Tomvet?…

Not that that holds her back on the drivel now added to cruiseDot. One can only speculate that she wished to avoid any further embarrassment over her links with Tomvet when she wrote on 18th of February (Comment # 11)…

“I remember meeting you for the first time JC when we were on Thomson Spirit. When we docked in Cobh, OH, myself and an Irish friend took the train to Fota to visit a big house (I’ve forgotten the name of it.) That was 7 years ago!”

‘…and an Irish friend…’?

Here’s the ‘Playmates’ version…

Scroll down to just past the sixth photograph and you can read…

“…Although it is the stop off point for Cork, we opted to spend the day with Tom and Mai on a trip to Fota House which was a 15 minute train journey from the station…” 

Surely not an attempt to hide that friendship from the Matriarch and Lizzie Lymyngton (whom Tomvet goaded mercilessly)

And while on the subject of reviews and photographs a note To Smiffy7 – You really should pay your subs to Photobucket, they are looking dreadful with those stamps over them.

Okay then,  back to the return of the Prodigal Children. Step forward CruiseWidower of Pontefract– formally the spicy StanDupp – and Gill Nickson – better known on Playmates as Gillzajoker – another great friend of the banned Misogynist, and Walter Mitty character,  Tomvet.  An all round budget cruiser and expat residing somewhere in the Spanish sticks (Albox to be exact and not exactly the ‘Costa del Sol’) our Gill is getting rather desperate these days having seen the demise of both the Playmates and the ‘Silver Travel Advisor’ forums. One trusts we are all making the connections and, if not, here is the classic example of their modus operandi of ‘just gotta say something irrespective of how inappropriate. So when a question is raised with regard to ‘onboard social experiences following the pandemic on 21st February …

…immediately up pops  ‘The Joker’ at Comment # 2 with…

It would definitely spoil cruising for me’.

Really? A prime example that one has to take what most on the forum say with a pinch of salt. This is the same woman who only on 15th January, hardly a month earlier, was confessing her cruising days were over following not being able to get Insurance…

at Comment # 16…

“Sadly, I can’t get insurance at any price that would cover my health issues, so it seems
my travelling days – to anywhere – are over.”

What is even more interesting is the fact that following that particular confession there wasn’t ONE expression of sympathy. Maybe The Joker isn’t as popular as she imagines and the forum membership are well aware of her duplicity.

And finally on Joker Gill no doubt the membership won’t be hearing of another Playmate that once graced the CruiseDot pages, the ‘Master & Commander’ himself and his rather embarrassing loss of £500 deposit for a Tui/Marella Christmas cruise… ……

…when he wrote on 27 Sept 2020…

“We cancelled our TUI Christmas cruise today. :(
We had no choice but to accept the loss of our £500 deposit because, as of today when the final ‘request’ for overdue payment was made, the cruise had still not been cancelled.
We had hoped that TUI would cancel the cruise before the final payment was due and return our deposit, but we can’t blame them for cutting their losses as best they can”.

Whoops. What a mistake to make. Had the Master & Commander coughed up he’d have had his full money back by now as that particular Christmas cruise was eventually cancelled and all monies refunded.


One resident  member who was certainly not pleased to see the return of the ‘love’ Stan is the matriarch herself who must have spent, during Stan’s first period of membership,  hours private messaging and  telling anyone who cared to listen  how sleazy and distasteful Stan was.

Indeed, what wouldn’t Solent Richard give for a peak into the Matriarch’s thoughts having become such  bosom friends with Smith 7 -herself a friend and supporter of Tomvet – and now the return of ‘Sleazey’ Stan and the other Tomvet hero worshipper playmate Gill Nickson. Truly shocking one would guess.

And it certainly didn’t take long for the general tone to be lowered…

Comment # 6 illustrates…

“…One example will be a mixture of Cointreau, Vermouth ,joined by a slice of fresh Valencia orange ,and a generous sprinkling of Viagra, which we plan to christen “Wishful Thinking” or “Dream on”. Can any members suggest any more suitable new cocktails and names?…”

While straight in support comes the afore mentioned Gill at Comment # 8…

“I didn’t relate that ‘handle’ to you, Stan, but now I know, I know you!

Your Cocktail – how about:- ‘A Hard Day’s Night’? Or ‘A Stiffener’? Or, ‘Upfront’?”

Definitely not the types to be dining with the Matriarch in the Grills then.  “We’ve often had celebrity speakers dining with us and some rather distinguished fellow guests”.

But enough about the Prodigal returnees, there’s more ground to be covered. SHOCK HORROR, who woke Swintontraveller? Having joined in August 2009 and only registered some 93 posts so surely this isn’t a sleeper…



“Hello all , been a while since I have been on this forum. I have searched for any existing posts/threads but couldn’t find one .

Our 2nd Sept. 2020 cruise was cancelled in July 2020 and we immediately opted for full refund . I knew already MSC’s policy of issuing refunds up-to 120 days AFTER sail date regardless of date cruise was cancelled so we patiently waited it out . I know for fact since at least 6th January 21 the funds have been with and was just wondering if anyone who had a cancelled Sept. 20 cruise had their money back yet.
In our e.mail it stated that due to staffing issues refunds are being done in sail date order and we should have our money back by April !!!

I have been as patient as can be and lord knows none of us are going anywhere soon but think this is ridiculous for a refund to take so long . Surely it is a matter of reconciling a booking reference , cross reference funds have been returned and input the details on a computer or am I missing something ?”

What a shocking accusation but what was even more shocking was the lack of support these free thinking(?) cruisers gave to the poor Swintontraveller: only 4 members deemed to comment.

And of course this isn’t the first case. Facebook cruise groups are full of similar criticism against CruiseDot’s feet dragging on refunds. Some examples…




It was noted that Swintontraveller gave CruiseDot a week to sort this out…

“I will give one more week then will consider taking them to court through small claims .”

Though that was on 26 January. No responses seem par for the course. Where are the Forum Admins?

Time to turn to the Forum’s wannabe political activists. Step forward the Rabid Europhile Socialist and aptly named Tosh Tosh…

“Partly because of the pandemic lockdown and the Xmas/New Year these first issues of our departure from the EU are a few days later than Project Fear predicted.

So , given that the administrative cost of the last 4 years of Brexit are estimated at £200 Billion, our net savings on annual subscriptions are about £8 Billion and it seems we have an unknown but significant on cost of red tape, when will we start to show any benefits?

Don’t forget that almost all the trade deals already negotiated are simply carry overs of the existing EU deals.”

As per usual this was a cut and paste from the Sky nNews website – Yep, that anti government pro European broadcaster that had to suspend many of its senior reporting staff for blatantly breaking the Covid rules…

Kay Burley Suspended Off Air for Six Months, Beth Rigby Off For 3 Months

Didn’t notice any Toshtosh comment on that did we. As with most off the lad’s comments, there are more red herrings than a Russian trawler. Still, its good to knowToshtosh’s career as a standup comedian is obviously going well,




Stop Press: Just released on 6 January. Seaside Property with excellent sociable neighbours.Ideal for cruise ship viewing, entertaining your cruising friends  and a truly stones throw from the high water mark…|20|0|100000|0|99999998|0|0|3|3|1|1|1|PO13%209LW|45603:10084:20:_|2|7|0|2|1||3||||196|0:2147483647:0|1894|1|2|::&propertyNumOnPage=2

The apartment below the flag can be yours, Smith 7, aka Jolly Jill,  eat your heart out pet…


And a warm welcome to this satirical take of what was once the UK’s leading Cruise Forum 

And it certainly does folks – The Tears for Tiers update Edition.

As Christmas approaches and across the country Covid Tier restrictions come into place read on and shed a few ‘tears’ of laughter at the antics of our heroes in the CruiseDot Forum Sanctuary.

At the risk of repeating a previous observation…

It’s long been a valid assumption that those who continue to contribute regularly – while the cruising world is generally hibernating – lack any semblance of a  real life and hence the site is now being inundated with threads so remote from cruising that they must be a serious concern, and embarrassment, to the sites owners.

Well that’s certainly continued to be the case and just when you thought it couldn’t be made up we get an insight into how the so called cruising world spend their Thursday evenings. Desperation personified ? You couldn’t make it up as the weirdo Glaswegian Spinster introduces…

How do you butter your toast??

…which ran for 4 pages while for those whose entertainment horizons on a Sunday evening aren’t that great, the Lawnmowerman from Tain has the answer…

What do you REALLY want for Christmas………..

…though the lad probably does have a reasonable  excuse for despair: who wouldn’t living under a regime that had the wee Krankie in charge..

For God’s sake go on, take the challenge, click the link and just see who replied on a Sunday evening. I rest my case, You couldn’t make it up.

Not to be outdone, didn’t you just know that the Forum’s embedded Trot, aka jc of widnespewl, would at some point land a worthy ‘Off Topic’ piece – having recently been in receipt of a warning over his politico inputs. With all the panache of a working class hero what else should we have expected than…

Yorkshire puddings.

Who’d have thunked it. By Sunday it had stretched to 5 pages, in itself an achievement when one considers the amazing deafening silence surrounding his  current hero , Sir Kneel Starmer,  announcing he’s self-isolating just as a load of Labour councillors are arrested for corruption?

What is it about socialists, and not just the Mayor, but that other Liverpewl hero, firebrand Derek Hatton…

There’s only one thing worse than a bent Tory  and that’s a bent socialist fraud ripping off his fellow socialists.

But we digress. There is so much more mirth to be found and, still on the subject of ‘Yorkshire Puddings’, who should pop up at Comment # 41 but our new Welsh hero, Hengoed Heather, with this ultra classic…

“I make yorkshire puddings to go with curry… you can get a really good scoop on them too”

That’s the same Heather who on the matriarch’s follow up to her previously reviewed TV thread,

Christmassy? Or not.

wrote at Comment # 9…

“In Wales when it was banned to go shopping I got a pretty hearth thing??? and some lights to wind round my dresser from Amazon.. To be fair I think Amazon probably made a fortune out of wales athe time! I thought the pretty thing would be like a feather boa that you just throw at the fireplace, it wasnt, it was like a skinny chrismas tree, took me all afternoon to put into shape, and the lights, there were about 1000ft of them, so they have gone quite a way and look so pretty i might just leave them up…Had to buy new this year as we are always on Balmoral at christmas….Lots of people round here had stuff up for weeks now and I have to say it does look very pretty, but like a lot of you it will only be me and him for crimbo itself but will have a family crimbo in april or may”

…while at Comment # 2 our old friend Jolly Jill, aka Smith7, wrote…

“I am lucky enough to be able to get together with my family in Surrey this year. It will only be for a couple of days but at least I get the pleasure and fun of being with my loved ones.

My OH doesn’t do Christmas so he will happily stay at home and ignore it, as he always does. I don’t decorate our home with a tree because Ebenezer wouldn’t appreciate it.

Do I feel Christmassy? well sort of because I have had fun buying presents for my little grandsons and my adult kids and OHs.

Of course it won’t be the same for any of us this year so we just have to be thankful for small mercies”.

While on the subject of Jolly Jill and Hengoed Heather, Solent Richard is also grateful to a fellow conspirator for the link to another interesting snippet…

I’ve Bitten the Bullet

“Although I already have cruises booked for next July and December; I was lured by an email ad for a Tulips and Chocolates cruise in April 2021.

I’ve never visited the bulb fields in the Netherlands, which has been on my bucket list for years, so I’ve booked to sail from Southampton on Fred’s Braemar to Honfleur (a port I’ve not yet visited), Antwerp, Amsterdam & Rotterdam.

I booked a Saver Fare which meant I could only specify a cabin grade as the actual cabin will be allocated nearer the time. I have also paid an extra £14 to specify my chosen dining time.

Am I worried about cruising in April?… not in the slightest.

Can anyone really image, except maybe Jolly Jill, aka Smith 7, voluntarily wanting to sit and chat to Hengoed Heather for Dinner on a Fred Olsen ship? Frankly that surely has to be the  best two reasons for avoiding a Fred Olsen cruise altogether. 

And then, as if by magic, we discover that they are actually planning to be on Braemar together in April 2021….

…up she pops at Comment # 6

“Us too, I cant wait, look forward to seeing you on board x heather x”

Now you’ve been warned you Fred Olsen cruisers. 

What is it about the Welsh? Years ago we had the delights of the Welsh Doctor Bella whom everyone knew was another sock puppet for the Llanelli Saucepan,  Diva18, Then came the boyo from Up North Chester way, the since departed   Gordon Rhys, Chester, and another who appears to have gone AWOL, the enigmatic flat dweller, Taffy Wales, not seen since 19 Dec 2019, while more recently we had the adventures of the Royal Caribbean cheat,  Cymru Cruiser.  Not forgetting of course, our very own Hengoed Heather… Comment 16…

I cant go aldi either, ( or is it lidl)pastedGraphic.pngthats another thing I cant tell the diffrence! 


And finally for this update I’d like to show some appreciation to the membership for their earlier efforts at sorting out the Covid-19 pandemic…

Merry Christmas everyone, stay safe and good luck with those early booked cruises.


That’s no exaggeration folks, the ‘Second Lockdown’ has proved to be a real revelation into what makes the minds of a small group of part time budget  cruisers tick.

The attendance and contributions to what has evolved into this rather dull forum, a shadow of its former self,  now appears to be more and more exclusively a refuge and haven for those without real lives and a handful of social misfits.

It’s long been a valid assumption that those who continue to contribute regularly – while the cruising world is generally hibernating – lack any semblance of a  real life and hence the site is now being inundated with threads so remote from cruising that they must be a serious concern, and embarrassment, to the sites owners.

While maybe not leading the charge, the Matriarch, aka Mrs M, should surely know better: unless of course…   …

Lockdown TV, What is/has been your favourite

“I can tell I’m bored. I am beginning to watch the television ”live” as opposed to recording to watch later.

Ch 5 has been our go to channel this year.

All Creatures Great and Small
Our Yorkshire Farm
Escape to the Farm
This week on the Farm”

…followed up with at Comment # 17…

“Comment # 17…

I inadvertently signed up for a month’s free Amazon Prime trial.

How did I ever live without it!

Which of course opened the floodgates with, amongst others popping up, Hengoed Heather with another her usual ‘gibberish’ efforts…

“love strictly, love celebrity jungle and I think this year its going to either be brilliant or rubbish… bbc have just shown blackadder 11, forgot how funny it is… also The Big Bang Theory I just love, watched it time and time again, I know it virtually word for word now but its still funny, not so keen on bake off this series though, lots of weird stuff ie japanese!!! x hugs all x heather x”

While a rather more interesting confrontation took place on Comment # 36 which saw the Matriarch locking horns with Lucy, Sutton.


Lead figure in those stakes is undoubtedly the weirdo Glaswegian spinster whose attendance is spotted morning noon and night. And one can’t help noticing that she also spends considerable time trawling the far more cruise cultured ‘Cruise Critic’ as very often one will spot a comment by her in the order…



Then there’s the Yankee immigrant in the form of Mason, Altrincham who, for whatever reason, seems to think us Brits have a dedicated interest in anything US political. So much so she even finds time to pop up on a Friday night at 10.53 pm to let us know Donald Trump has been responsible for even more Covid deaths…

“Two days since I started this thread and another 4,000 people have passed away and that horrible man still won’t lift a finger to help the people he is supposed to lead”.

Bit of an enigma really, our Helen. Why on earth anyone would give up a life in the United States for a pad on the outskirts of Manchester God only knows.





LIFTING COVID LOCKDOWNa timely UPDATE to Easter’s CruiseDot Lockdown Derangement Syndrome.

Hello and welcome to the UK’s most popular cruise blog. And a warm welcome to all those regular readers who just love Solent Richard’s satirical seasonal updates on the antics of a cruise forum near you.

And wasn’t it fortuitous that the lifting of the Covid-19 Lockdown restrictions came when they did.

Otherwise God only knows what effects reactions would have been amongst the already pathetically low members still clinging to their daily fill of lifeless boredom.

On a brighter note however regular readers will be pleased to hear that the few remaining members have  certainly generated some amazing anecdotal  material that, hopefully,  will provide a degree of humour, fun, frivolity and a dollop of satirical mirth to this column.


Following on from the previous update that followed the lifting of ‘Lockdown’ SR thought it a good idea to catch up on events over the last month. There certainly hasn’t been any risk of disappointment, indeed, the material has continued to flow and this blog expresses its sincerest thanks to those members who have forwarded links of, shallop we say, an interesting nature.

First a mention of our old friend Cymru Cruiser, aka HawkinsMG, who it was feared may have done a runner after being unceremoniously exposed over her squalid attempts to embarrass  Royal Caribbean in the previous update.

Nothing like a few appearances on the Matriarchs Friday Night Quiz to wean one’s way back into posting. It even transpires that she has decided to change tack on her career path…

Comment # 497

“…And yes this bonkers mid 40’s year old who has decided not to reopen their business post lockdown is off to Uni to do a Law degree”.

Good luck with that then Oly, though one cannot help hope that a change in ‘ethics’ accompanies the change in career.


So as one Welsh door closes one can always guarantee that another opens. Step forward a rather newish member, Hengoed Heather (aka ev’n’clive, HENGOED)

Heather opened her account with an interesting OP on 21 April …

…and this was shortly followed on 12 July with this…

“Been waiting 50+ days for a refund from celebrity, first I was told it would be 30-45 days then 90 days and now they have said 120 day! What is it that makes them think they can keep your money tied up, I dont want FCC, I just want my bank to have some money in it. I emailed again this morning and I got reams of papaer saying that they have been allowed to do this by ABTA. Nothing worse than paying for a holiday, having it cancelled and then having to fight to GET YOUR OWN MONEY BACK,”

Of course its becoming clear that our Heather isn’t the brightest star in the sky and it soon transpires that the refund problem is not Celebrity’s, as originally stated, but the Travel Agent she booked through, Iglu..

“yes I am concerned that I dont know WHO holds the money, .. I had trips refunded within about 2 weeks so I thought that was marvellous and the whole thing was being sorted, however then it came to a big stop, and what annoys me is that all emails sent to you are on a “do not reply”.. I booked this cruise through iglu and have used them for years and assumed i was ” a valued customer” I am now due to pay for a fred cruise (oct ) and they have “offered ” to take some of the money owing to me to pay for this and refund the rest, so if they can do this why cant they give me a refund, certainly thinking twice about who I book with in future… I also had a good long fight about getting my money back from parking 4 cruises… Had wait weeks then the cheeky sods stopped a tenner for admin charges.. Another firm I wont be using”.

And in Hengoed Heather’s tale lies another amazing revelation. Following comments on the various REFUND sagas, it appears that those forum members, who actually book through CruiseDot, are definitely in a minority.


Firstly a big thank you is in order to regular reader Lucy Sutton for duplicating one of Solent Richard’s points in the previous update and regarding recent pre-covid cruises…

When was your last cruise and when is your next one

“The forum is less about cruising these days as there is none going on, but thought I would send people down memory lane and what next cruise they have and how do they think it will be different?

My last cruise was last October 2019 on Ventura for 14 nights down to the Mediterranean. Lovely weather, really relaxing cruise and wonderful trip. We were hoping for another 11 night cruise in March this year, and we were all but fully packed to go and then this was cancelled. The one after this one was October on Iona, but that has been moved to October 2021, as I don’t think that will be happening at all.”

Some 33 comments later and it was the general consensus that, as suspected, most members hadn’t cruised for almost a year or more while some interesting answers like…

“Mine was so long ago I had to look it up. I had one cancelled in December too So my last one was the forum cruise last June on Arcadia. “

While the forum’s Matriarch, aka Mrs M, gleefully accepted the  chance to reiterate to anyone who’d listen, that she remained on FOUR cruises either booked or rescheduled for 2021… Comment # 8

“Last one was a Med cruise On QV.

We have deferred three cruises this year, to next, to add to the one already booked for 2021.

However, speaking to someone who has a bit of experience in the cruise industry, there’s no guarantee we will be taking them all”.

There was one major upset during the ‘Lock-Down period that’s worth a mention. This column has often highlighted the rather worthless pursuit of a small number of died -in-the-wool socialists and trots: namely JC of Widmerpool and the aptly named Tosh Tosh from Birmingham. This pair had in fact managed to collect a few more recruits who were only too willing to utilise their new found spare time in the furtherance of their political views. Step forward andyn, Bucks, BinleyBilly, Binley, Coventry and sandraggg, Newcastle

The latter of course who only recently joined and currently sits with 69 posts, 95% of which are political anti government.

But what of the upset? Here it is and pretty self explanatory…

Which of course was linked to this thread by the Mighty Amar…

…and you could almost guarantee one response at Comment # 22…

But who was the super Grass that JC was so keen to expose: as we all know Amar doesn’t monitor the site regularly. Of course it’s common knowledge that the Forum’s resident Trot, JC,  isn’t the sharpest knife in the box but just to keep the pot boiling, here’s a little clue to who made the ‘Report’ and got the thread shut down…

Meanwhile, with only a limited capacity to engage in debate, and an eagerness to say something, our hero showed exactly where his working class ethics lay with a number of comments regarding the mysterious appearance of PPE…

Well who’d have believed it? Nothing of course to do with the fact his daughter works at a local NHS Hospital and his… I have access to full strength Hypo from my old work,,a friend still working got me a couple of bottles…

…kind of makes you wonder. But of course, in Lizzie Lymington’s brave new Forum, no one dares question the receipt of stolen property.

Time to turn our attention to another of the Forum’s satirical characters and the perennial ‘gift that keeps on giving’, come on down  Smith 7,  aka the playmate’s Jolly Jill…

Talk about ‘You couldn’t make it up’…

Comment # 61…

“…I’ve just returned from my seeing one of my daughters in Surrey. We sat in her garden for a couple of hours but I confess that we had a massive hug as I walked through her house.

Breaking the rules? I doubt it because we have both had Coronavirus, even though it hasn’t been confirmed. My OH must have got it from me but remained Asymptomatic.

It was the first drive out since 8th March and apart from seeing my daughter, we didn’t get near anyone else….”

Once again there was little or no questioning of Jill’s rather irresponsible behaviour during the pandemic: all forbidden on Lizzie Lymington’s brave new forum world.

Mind, of course, as we all know,  Smith 7 is no stranger to a virus even though Solent Richard was sure the last one was centred on a certain cabin confinement while cruising on Freddy Olsen’s Boudicca…

There is of course a full review on the Playmates site, dated the 14 April…

…but do excuse the less than complimentary photograph over there: a certain tight wad  hasn’t paid her subscription to the host site: hence the Photobucket overlay.

All this of course this pales into insignificance with Jill’s other mega announcement…

…Unfortunately, my OH lost the desire for a cruise last year , so the lockdown makes no difference to him in that respect….”

Wow, you could almost hear the loyal passengers cries of relief across the Fred Olsen fleet:  Plunky free cruising.

And so sense seems to have prevailed as Jill now announces that the cancelled Fred Canada/ US East Coast cruise this September is to be replaced with her new ‘chum’ and, as her and Plunky won’t have to fork out two fares, there’s been an upgrade to a balcony cabin on a considerably shorter cruise around the UK.

Moving on from Jolly Jill,  this blog was delighted to receive a tip off from a co-conspirator regarding a rather disgraceful episode over a cruise booking that wasn’t wanted to be honoured. made all the more serious when one considers the person involved once claimed to have been ‘management’ in the travel industry.

Step forward Cymrucruiser, aka HawkinsMG as used to be, who very early on in lockdown, 17 April to be precise, wrote this…

…at Comment # 3…

“Yep October to Italy on Anthem.
Have no intention of going. Couldn’t afford it even if it does go ahead, which I don’t think it will.

Just waiting to see what happens. Have no intention of moving it to next year at the moment. Have you seen the prices?!”

Yet, as discovered, said Cymrucruiser, using a Pseudonym on Facebook, was having a rant at Royal Caribbean on their own Facebook site…

…in addition to a further rant over on a Facebook ‘private’ group for Anthem of the Seas…

Stay tuned to learn Oly’s reaction when her unethical actions were rumbled…

(Prior to continuing its been good to note that since the first part of this update was made last weekend this particular section of the Blog has seen over 250 hits. Additionally a mole on the CruiseDot forum informs Solent Richard that the Forum’s Private Message system has been in overload during the same period: Good to know that the blog is infinitely more popular amongst members than the Matriarch’s Friday night quiz). 

And is it transpired that further comments were made by ‘Oly Banks‘,aka Cymru Cruiser – compounding her earlier misdemeanour –  by encouraging others to comment and place false pressure on Royal Caribbean’s facebook page…

Always prepared to champion fair play,  Solent Richard decided to point out to CymruCruiser, aka Oly Banks, the somewhat unethical error of her ways…

…while utilising  her all too inconvenient screen-shotted comment  taken from CruiseDot’s Forum.

Users of Facebook will be aware that when comments are made a system is in place to immediately inform the thread’s interested members that a response has been made.

Checking up on any such progress it became clear that ‘Oly Banks’ became somewhat rattled by the exposure. She has now  deleted the comment from Royal Caribbean’s facebook page and, in a fit of Pique, abandoned her membership of the Anthem of the Seas fb Group

So there you have it folks and all for the sake of a £300.00 cruise deposit, that she had no intention of taking anyway,   CymruCruiser  was prepared and more than happy to cause hassle to a cruise company that was already struggling to deal with ‘genuine’ customers. Shame on her.

Moving on it is fair to say that the pandemic certainly brought out a few of the less noticeable part time cruisers to Solent Richard’s attention. Step forward Lawnmowerman, (LMM) from Tain in bonny Scotland. Not known too well as a prolific cruiser but, all the same, worth a little look. There’s always one gift available from each member and on this particular occasion it fell at jock’s doorstep…

“Can anyone remember the forum being so quiet?

It’s not as if we are all cruising….”

Not one to miss an opportunity, the resident trot from Widnespewl couldn’t resist another go at the non-politicos at Comment #

I said this would happen,,,,,members are frightened to post political threads”.

Whence, within less than 5 minutes the Matriarch, and part-time Admin snitch,  responded…

Plenty of opportunity to post your political thoughts.

This is a public site and there comes a time, when little cruising chat is feasible due to no one cruising, really personal chatter isn’t really appropriate.

Members are doing their best with little to work with. Not too bad really.

Eee by Gum, therein tells a tale. Funny how the facebook groups, with ‘real’ people commenting,  and Cruise Critic, (far more serious cruisers),  don’t appear to have abated their activities that much.

But this is CruiseDot and with the odd exception, as was pointed out in the previous update, most folk hadn’t cruised certainly for more than 12 months.

Anyway, back to Tain and our new hero, LMM. Obviously not too much social life north of the border as LMM is regularly locked into the Friday Night quiz. Wow, what fun when you could be out supporting your local eateries like most other folk do.

Needless to say though there’s an element of excitement and competition in the Friday night quiz…

Comment # 402

Pete? You really are taking the shine off this with your nit-picking! It’s only a FRIENDLY quiz – not the bl@@dy Olympics.

Poor old Skier Pete, what did he deserve to face the wrath of one of the wee Krankies loyal supporters?


To be continued. Stay tuned folks, all will be revealed with additional interesting snippets on the financial dealings with car purchases  and ‘leasehold’ property purchases by a not so bright socialist


Hello and welcome to the UK’s most popular cruise blog. And a warm welcome to all those regular readers who just love Solent Richard’s satirical seasonal updates on the antics of a cruise forum near you. 

But first there is a treat is in store.  It would appear that Solent Richard’s two  most recent  cruises  post-date any other cruise experience of a CruiseDot member:  with the possible exception of Wilba and Sue (I Love Sunshine).  What a surprise!

Here’s the links folks, first up an amazing January journey along the Upper Mekong with a cruise line even new to Solent Richard…

Fifty Shades of Green – Laos Mekong River Cruise

And secondly a 14 night Caribbean experience sailing inFebruary and March in  MSC’s Yacht Club onboard the MSC Preziosa…

Wow. Hope you all enjoyed those reviews. Two full on fun cruises and the MSC one so good that SR has already booked another  MSC experience…


Now let’s turn to the more serious business of what’s been going on amongst the around two dozen regulars that find the CruiseDot forum their lifeline to the world and social outlet of frustration. 

And what a time it has been over the previous FOUR months. What with Boris Johnson trouncing old man Steptoe just before Christmas, the outbreak of the Corona Virus with all cruises cancelled and UK Lockdown in place.  Needless to say the membership, albeit a fraction of what it used to be, has thrown up a veritable bed of material from which to glean this blog’s material.

And who’d have thought it.  We have discovered an array of talent amongst the membership that extends  way beyond anyone’s expectations.

We have political geniuses, rabid make-believe political agitators, an abundance of economical and legal experts, housing advisors and medical specialists: not to mention a handful of national pandemic specialists.  

Yes, who’d have thought it?  What fascinating company these folk would make if one was lucky enough to share a cruise ship dinner table with just a small selection.

So lets take them one at a time.  Of course no update would be complete without the usual three ‘Red Musketeers’. 

And first up for scrutiny is that ardent red and casual visitor,  Binley Billy. Who do I hear you ask?

Well yes, Binley Billy returned to the CD forum, following an obvious sabbatical from posting between  August 2019 and his current outburst and usual poorly researched anti government claptrap in March this year…


“…Johnson again dithers still failing to assure self employed that financial support will be provided.

Supermarkets are shamefully stripped – the government’s response is a few squawks asking for restraint…”


Comment # 25…

“…Strikes me that he is leading increasingly headless chickens who once again haven’t remotely thought through the practicalities of isolating the over 70’s some of which have already been mentioned above. Similarly they have failed to realise that self employed people for instance just have to keep working or they lose their livelihood with no security net to then fall back on…”

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but a brain would be even better. Miracles of course do happen and Solent Richard is pleased to announce that Rishi Sunak, the excellent and talented Conservative Chancellor, Introduced an amazing array of support for not only the Self-employed, but millions of other workers on 20 March, chancellor Rishi Sunak announced the coronavirus job retention scheme


Next up of course is the forum’s resident Trot, jc, who still obviously aspires to a mention in the Guinness Book of Records as the ‘UK’s longest serving political loser’. 

Always willing to jump on the bandwagon…

Attempting to cast doubt on the abilities of the best Prime Minister since Margaret Thatcher he bails in at Comment # 24…

“…Where was he when he missed 5 Cobra meetings early in this emergency,,,,taking a 2 week holiday at Chevening,is government pile in the countryside…”

You can always guarantee the basis of this politico pygmy’s comments will be a cut and paste from The Guardian Online – he really doesn’t have the talent to transfer logical thinking from the void between his ears to the keyboard.

And of course, as we all know, its the Guardian’s policy to ignore logic and truth. So no prizes for not knowing that there was nothing sensational in the PM not attending a Cobra meeting. The protocol is normally that Cobra meetings are chaired by the respective minister of the subject under scrutiny. ie, if it’s security then the chair would be the Home Secretaries and Medical, the Health Secretary.

When this was pointed out to him at…

…His response was “I can’t believe you just posted…‘Gorden Brown attended every Cobra meeting for MCD...”

Gorden Brown?

Oh dear. To quote Captain Bertorelli in the TV series ‘Allo Allo’…What a mistake-a to make-a.

Apart from the fact the boy can’t even get the former Labour PM’s christian name spelt correctly, let alone understand what he failed to achieve, this was one of labour’s most disastrous Prime Ministers. The same Brown, who when he was Chancellor, was responsible for starving the MoD of money to pay for decent equipment to help keep our troops alive in 2 concurrent Middle East conflicts until the sheer number of fatalities meant he had to release cash to the MoD for Urgent Operational Requirements

So we don’t need any lectures from tis seasoned socialist dinosaur on any failure to fund PPE.

And it’s the same Gordon Brown who lied on camera saying…”he misunderstood what she said” during the 2010 election Bigot Gate episode…

Of course it takes one liar to recognise another. It’s in all socialist’s DNA.

And the same Gordon Brown who was never voted in as Prime Minister by the British electorate.

The fact is one could write a full blog on the CD forum’s resident Trot’s outpourings so we’ll limit it to just one more for brevity’s sake…

…where at Comment # 6 our hero writes…

“Would you put Pritti Patel or Liz Truss in the front line to face the pubic?”

Well the  boyo certainly did that get that spectacularly  wrong. Followers of the governments daily briefings will have noted that Priti Patel, the Home Secretary, has hosted two of those briefings to date and they were both resoundingly succefull: She certainly puttee leftie press in their places.

Logically it is difficult to think what the knobhead was thinking about when he typed that crap. Did he have an alternative in mind…


Wow, just couldn’t resist adding an Update to an Update.

In answer to a comment that dared offer a second opinion the Widnespewl Wonder, aka jc, responded with

an answer offering support for the vertically challenged Guardian columnist Owen Jones. Well why shouldn’t he, having already announced he holds an Irish passport. No prizes then for guessing he shares the same views as the boyo Owen…

The disgusting pair are welcome to each other but before we leave this update there was the little matter of jc also calling the Prime Minister a liar. Well that’s a bit rich coming from this serial liar who was exposed by SR many years ago. Maybe he might like to raise this next expose with his Guardian friends because you’ll never read about it in the Guardian: a Labour MP sacked after LYING about PPE shortages…

Pot, Kettle, Black anyone?

The fact remains that Labour hasn’t won an election since 2006, and still doyens like jc, Binley Billy and the most aptly named Tosh Tosh just can’t work out why.

One can only guess that when members get fed up of reading the bell ends  pathetic rantings,  they, as Solent Richard does,  retire to their respective living rooms and watch a re run of the December 2019 Election night on their TVs: which cheers them right up seeing the faces of the leftie Meeja and  in the full knowledge that JC will never get to see a socialist government in his immediate lifetime. Indeed, in all likelihood the next Labour Time Minister hasn’t been born yet.


No update would be complete without a mention of the Queen of Drivel and, as always, Smith7, aka the Playmate’s exile Jolly Jill, continues to oblige.

What an amazing confession from the woman who, for at least the last 8 years, had bored everyone to death with her pontification on how wonderful Fred Olsen was and how Fred was her favourite cruise Line and Boudicca was her favourite Fred ship.

So imagine the surprise when CD members awoke on the 12 March this year to learn that Jolly Jill was about to enter the divorce courts…

I am very disappointed with Fred’s attitude

How strange that knowing full well what Fred Olsen’s terms were when she booked her Balmoral Autumn cruise across the Atlantic entitled ‘North American Waterways’, the slightest wiff of a chance to renage on an agreed payment and old Smiffy is in there.

We all easily recall how Jolly Jill was inclined to play-up her budget cruising credentials when she was a leading light over on the rather dull Playmates cruise site. Seems a bit harsh on Fred Olsen to deny them what is obviously a trifling amount to a budget cruiser.

But we now read on a separate thread,  dated 17 April, where she states…

“I am booked with a friend to go to Canada/USA on Fred’s Balmoral at the end of September for 34 nights.

Fred have already changed the balance due to date to 28 days before sailing instead of the customary 90 days. I am not confident that the cruise will take place”

Ol Smithy appears to be reluctant to mention whether or not she actually coughed up the £1K interim due on 2 April. One wonders why?

Of course the National ‘LockDown’ has played it’s part in many strange comments appearing and it beggars the question what effect it is having on members mental agility. Back to our friend Smith7…

…and Comment # 11 where she states…

“I remember doing a harbour cruise in Southampton, just after the fleet returned from the Falklands was. QE2 was requisitioned a s a medical ship. Maybe Cunard could spare one of their Queens to do a similar job to relieve the pressure on the NHS, should it become necessary”.

“QE2 was requisitioned a s a medical ship.”?

This of course was total nonsense and Solent Richard is surprised no member picked up the blatant example of misinformation.

The Cruise ship that was requisitioned as a hospital ship was in fact the P&O cruise ship Uganda…

…which never went near Southampton during the Falklands War – she disembarked her passengers in Naples and headed for Gibraltar where the conversion to hospital ship took lace including the fitting of a flight deck.

While Solent Richard  doesn’t understand Smithy’s specific kind of stupidity, he does admire her total commitment to it.

And of course it’s not only Jolly Jill that appears to be affected by the lockdown. Even the Matriarch, Mrs M, surely didn’t mean to mislead the members on the numbers game…

On the 14th March – ‘the jury is out on what to do about the third cruise while…’

On the 31 March – ‘…we’ve moved all our bookings from this years still have four cruises booked with QV’

And, equally not a good move  from teacher, getting into a bitch fight with SR’s good friend, Marilyn, aka CCpm, Northampton…

How dare another member both possess and boast  a somewhat more refined and superior cruising record to the Matriarch. And it would certainly appear that with…

“…there were two fairly lengthy threads where you refused to name the ships. I can give you the links if you like…”

…there’s is a little bit of stalking afoot.


Another post that kind of beggars belief came from the self confessed  retired Travel Manager, CymruCruiser...

“Yep October to Italy on Anthem. 

Have no intention of going. Couldn’t afford it even if it does go ahead, which I don’t think it will. 

Just waiting to see what happens. Have no intention of moving it to next year at the moment. Have you seen the prices?!”

And that was after just three weeks of Lockdown. 

Well that will do for now folks…Stay tuned in for more updates as the situation progresses.



Hello and welcome to the UK’s most popular cruise blog. Thank you for visiting this section and do take a look at Solent Richard’s latest cruise review onboard saga’s brand new ship, Spirit of Discovery…

Saga’s Spirit of Discovery A 16 Night Cruise

…and if you thought that was amazing, spend a few minutes on his latest review of a New Year cruise along the Upper Mekong through Laos…

Fifty Shades of Green – Laos Mekong River Cruise



Hello and welcome as Solent Richard explores the funnier side of the CruiseDot Forum and brings some reality to those who would use an essentially cruising discussion group to spout their anti British tosh.

First up of course has to be that veritable dinosaur of the left, jc (not of Liverpool but of Widnes)

But in all seriousness this guy has to have been Brexit’s unwitting trump card…

Every fanatical anti Brexit  rant he made  on the forum  delivered 500 more ‘Leave’ votes that effectively returned Boris Johnson as Prime Minister with a stinking majority.

One can only assume that his views on politics are closely linked to his cruising ambitions. Particularly as he has recently stated, one assumes seriously, that he has no need to cruise worldwide due to being able to watch Asian travel videos on Youtube.

Well Er Yes. He is obviously a member of the ‘Flat Earth Society’ with an outlook like that. Furthermore he openly states that all there is to see in Asia are temples. Of course there certainly are some wonderful temples as one can see from Solent Richard’s Laos Mekong cruise, linked above. But it’s certainly not all temples. Singapore and Hong Kong have so much to offer the visitor while one would imagine the CD resident trot would only be too delighted to visit a few of the shrines to his heroes, one in Vietnam…

…and one in Laos

Power to the People?

Most noticeable after these particular anti Asia rants one would expect the odd comment on the current updates from ‘I Love Sunshine’ currently cruising Asia on Fred’s Boudicca. Okay, not the most comprehensive of blogs and one could legitimately question why one would pay more to fly Emirates Business Class than they paid for a Boudicca Inside Cabin. One thing is for sure, a quick perusal of Solent Richard’s review of Colombo…

One Way to do Colombo

…would have paid dividends on the experience and saved a considerable amount on costs. By the way ILS, it’s the Grand Oriental Hotel where the ship’s excursions visit for tea…

No update would be complete without one quote from Jolly Jill, aka Smith 7, and that too appeared in one of the ‘ILS’ reports…

“I am reading your posts, imagining myself on board as I know the ship so well.

I agree with Captain regarding the extra charge of £20 to eat in the speciality restaurant when the food in the MDR is usually so good. I have spoken to some people who have done so and they told me that it wasn’t worth paying the extra.

Maybe I will get to do your itinerary one day but it won;t be my OH as he says he is now ‘cruised out’.

Enjoy Singapore”.

This of course the very couple who were booked Singapore to Bali with Celebrity Millennium until poor ‘Plunky’ lost his nerve having a dose of Uncle Ho’s Revenge…

…and cancelled the cruise. More like a dose of Karma really.


The 2019 Festive Update  They’re not laughing anymore…

Firstly though it will be of considerable interest to older followers of Solent Richard’s Blog, and certainly  older members of the CruiseDot Forum who came in for abuse from the troll Diddy,  to learn that the twice banned troll and couch supporter of Liverpool FC, Diddy, aka Norfolk Boy, has resurfaced over on the Bolsover Forum with the screen name HLM.

You can read SR’s expose of him here…

Meanwhile, as Solent Richard has often commented, the few remaining members of the CruiseDot Forum that bother to post are far from representative of the general cruising public.

He is also mindful that a small coterie of CruiseDot ‘couch politicians’ who, now and then hit the keyboards,  are of a similar strain – and fall well short of representing the UK’s  voter base.

With limited cruising opportunities, and even less to talk about, a number of members have been intent on pursuing an agenda that flew in the face of the UK’s general public and sought to use a so called ‘Cruise’ Forum to spout their vindictive and misguided bile.

During the previous three years, since the Brexit Referendum, we have witnessed folk like the Patriarch, aka neil Down, the forum’s resident Trot, aka jc, his merseyside sidekick Philhar and the ridiculous Brummie Tosh Tosh all wading in to direct venom at the British public who voted by a democratic majority to leave the EU.

Well alas their energies proved all a waste of time: to put it in a sentence they will understand; the square root of FA.

And so on 12 December in what can simply be billed as a second ‘Peoples Vote’, though most would refer  to it as a General Election, our democracy was restored, socialism was shown the door, the metropolitan elite  humiliated and it looks as if time is about to be called on the biased BBC.

Time to crack on, to be independent and free, what a great time to be alive one may think? Alas not it would seem over on CruiseDot where bitterness runs in some folks DNA…

OMG, the boy appears to have gone into warp factor with his drivel

Well apart from the obvious spelling and grammar mistakes it would appear jc can’t even recall events just over 12 months ago…

Boris Johnson assumed the duties of Prime Minister in July 2019. The Prime Minister at the Cenotaph the preceding year (2018) was Theresa May

Of course, this is the same socialist dinosaur that accuses …

Pathological Liar?  Very much a case of the pot calling the kettle black: and followers of this column well remember how Solent Richard exposed him as a liar and a cheat over ‘Jerkgate’.

Our hero is of course very familiar with the Guardian’s art of bending facts…

Funny how that result isn’t quite what it seemed. In a safe Labour seat, held by the incumbent for something like 22 Years, his majority was slashed by 9.4%.

Well, what would one expect when you have a guy canvassing for you who doesn’t even know where he lives.

Definitely not the sharpest knife in the socialist box, the lad can’t even spell the name of the Momentum leader correctly…

…It’s spelt Jon Lansman.

Of course jc isn’t the only dunce pretending to be a politician…

Go on, as it’s the pantomime season…”OH NO YOU DIDN’T”…

So following Labour’s worst general election result since 1935 it’s pretty obvious to most people that the more the socialist likes of jc and Philhar spread their bile on the internet, the more they alienate people.

This jc fellow is a serial loser who can no longer calculate how many political defeats his out of date creed has inflicted on him: Indeed, it is now ever more likely that he will never see a Labour government in his remaining lifetime. 

…and one would guess one could add his Merseyside neighbour Philhar to the list of silly comments…

Maybe, just maybe,  the Wally from Wallasey needs a lesson in history. The United Kingdom will always be eternally grateful to President Pinochet whose friendship saved countless British servicemen’s lives during the Falklands War.

Conveniently forgotten when you have a socialist agenda of course, as is the fact that those now vying for the leadership of the Labour Party  are such  working class titans. Now lets see…

Step forward EmilyThornberry and Kier  Starmer with ideal CVs:


Both went to Grammar Schools – which labour is against.
Live in North London – Lady Nugee lives in a street where houses cost nearly £4 Million
Arch Europhiles
Lifelong, Public Sector troughers
Charmless and humourless 

We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

Labour the party that keeps on scoring own goals.

And finally for this update, as the Guardian news rag seems to be such a bible for the boy, how’s about this for a piece of crap journalism…

Mind, it’s Sunday alternative wasn’t much better, look what the Observer had to say…

You couldn’t make it up.

Autumnal Update

Wow, where does one begin?

Well one would guess, if one wanted a good laugh, it would be back once again to the forum’s patriarch figure, Neil Down ( whom it would appear hasn’t cruised for in excess of 3 years) to kick off a new thread that actually focuses on  one of the points Solent Richard has been highlighting for years…

“Has anyone looked at the latest “Members List”?
It is a total nonsense.
There are apparently 39,381 members and the majority write in Cyrillic or gobbledegook; so completely incomprehensible to the vast majority of normal users. All of these have the same joining date as their leaving date, No posts, No reputation, whatever that means and similarly just “Private Message” written underneath the heading “Messaging”

Trying to find my own name and working description was impossible let alone that of any other member.
Once more: It is a total nonsense and cruisedot should be ashamed that they have not seemingly noticed this let alone amended it.

What is this site coming to for goodness sake.

Disgustedly yours……Neil”

The Thread ran for some 4 days with one or two cracking comments, probably the best being Comment # 30, again by the patriarch…

“OR………. Vote with my feet. My last two cruises have been booked elsewhere because I am unhappy with cruisedot. A few years ago that would have not even been considered. I no longer recommend cruisedot because of the overly complex and dodgy practice.

So I enjoy my bees, I’ve kicked the tyres and I no longer consider using cruisedot as my main agent and why should I when I am getting a much improved service elsewhere. ……Neil”

Well that sent the Matriarch, aka Mrs M, into a minor apoplectic fit at Comment # 33…

“I’m sure you’re not the only member to share the love out across agents and why not. We all do our own thing and I’ll be the first to admit I share the love too. I just think it a shame all the decent agents are being tarnished by sweeping statements that CD is no longer ”worth proclaiming” about…..”

Followed up with her Comment # 35…

“I won’t go into details as it would reveal info I’m not prepared to put on an open web site but suffice to say, I think we all have our own opinions on which makes a ”good” agent and undercutting others, is not high on my list….”

Heaven forbid, surely she’s not referring to ex CruiseDot consultant John Campion who jumped ship to Go Cruise&Travel, a Franchise subsidiary of Fred Olsen…


BUT the Matriarch aka Mrs M isn’t the only CruiseDot Forum member who’s passing business to John Campion. And any members who wondered why Jolly Jill has 2 Cunard short breaks booked in consecutive months, then the answer can be found once more through John Campion…

” Very pleased to announce that the lucky winner of the Free Cruise on Cunard’s Victoria is…………. Mrs Jill Smith from Portsmouth. I hope you have a superb Time Jill, many congratulations”

Dark horse our Jolly Jill aka Smith7. Didn’t hear much about that on the Forum, did we? Despite what must be a first on Cunard, a balcony.

Or maybe it just goes to show that you just can’t trust what you read from folk hiding behind a pseudonym…

Yet another watertight case of …  ‘You couldn’t make it up’.

STOP PRESS UPDATE: Obviously Smith7 reads SR’s blog and it was good to see that after at least 2 months she now admits she won the cruise…

Comment # 13



What must have been particularly galling to the Original Poster, and surprise, surprise, the Admin/Management neither commented or, more to the point, didn’t take the blindest bit of notice.

Of course, one positive that did emerge from the thread was the comment by Peter M…


“…so the actual number of active members must be minute”

Never a truer word said and exactly what Solent Richard has been observing for years. In fact he’d put the number at around a dozen, certainly no more than twenty.

There’s also another little puzzle. CruiseDot offered

…on a two night MSC cruise hamburg to Southampton. The uptake was understandably slow due to the fact those taking up the offer had to pay for their own flights to Hamburg. In the event there were only 7 takers…

(Comment # 99)

…and to date only 5 have come up with a review…

(Malcolm Essex did write one later) However, having been given a ‘free’ cruise it was most noticeable that only one member spent a few Euros on a wifi package to give a ‘live’ blog. Well done Wansbrough. 

Reviewing the Summer Silly Season

As the summer silly season draws to close, or has it, maybe time to reflect at the goings on over at the UK’s most overrated cruise forum.

It would appear that the dust has settled in the aftermath of what was universally agreed as the ‘best yet’ forum cruise though judgement by outsiders is a little more circumspect: particularly in view of the absence of any photographs of any of the attendees appearing. Looks as though the Matriarch wields considerable power and what a difference from the more popular facebook group cruise soirees where of course the sensitivities of a matriarch don’t hold sway.

 It’s long been accepted that the majority of UK cruise forums have been hubs for chatter generally amongst budget level  cruisers and CruiseDot is no different.

Indeed, no subject more dominates the level of threads or conversations than the costs of cruising and  ways to save the odd shekel on this, that or the other expense.

And if there was any doubt as to the validity of the above statement,  and the monopolising of said forums by the true budget brigade, then two recent threads on the CruiseDot  forum typify the philosophy of the majority of the membership…

Some quotes…

…”We are happy to pay a fair price to begin with for a good quality cruise but do not expect to then pay extra for any and every ‘extra’. “

“On my last Cunard cruise (last year), I felt as though I had been mugged when I bought a round a of drinks and the service in the bar was poor too”.

…and so it goes on while here…

So fed up of the cut backs – which line should I try next?

Some quotes…

“The cruise I just came back from had turned the free deck ice cream machines into a pay-for service 2.90 per pull + 15%grat,”


“Cut backs are rife everywhere…The Bean-counters are to blame as well but cut prices and addition of free this and that all play their part”.

“Yes they are getting expensive & the quality of the ships’ food varies significantly”.

To be fair to CD members, and as stated in the opening paragraph, other UK forums paint a similar budget level cruising mentality. Scroll through…

to find…

“Of course drink prices and anything else that’s not included is extortionately expensive,….”


“…The tickets for the bus are ridiculously expensive – we can’t believe how much we’ve spent so far…”

While another thread offers…

”We usually have an idea of what we’re prepared to pay, although it is becoming difficult to get anything in our price bracket in view of the seemingly constantly rising prices…”

Well there you go then. A lot of unhappy bunnies with the cost of cruising.

So time to lighten up a bit on a satirical look at one or two of the characters involved in this everyday comedy of cruising tales.

First up has to be the weirdo Glaswegian spinster, Annie.

Solent Richard thanks his friendly co-conspirator on CD for the prompt sending of the link to this real cracker…

No one can possibly have ignored the spinster’s constant barrage of her vitriol against the  dreaded ‘SOTON’. Indeed –  given a quid for every time she’s mentioned ‘SOTON’ as some kind of pariah, and stated she’d never dream of sailing from there,   it would pay for the odd short cruise.

So how odd that the same co-conspirator also spotted elsewhere that on 24 October this year, ‘our Annie’ will be departing from – yes you’ve guessed it – SOTON, onboard Celebrity Silhouette for a repositioning cruise to the States.

And what about her above quoted ‘4 lost days travelling to/from the med?

Well would you believe Celebrity Silhouette just happens to have 7 full sea days (8 sea nights) transiting  SOTON to New York.

Of course the weirdo Glaswegian spinster won’t be mentioning her Celebrity cruise on CruiseDot.

You really couldn’t make it up.

Not far behind the spinster in laughs comes our old friend and one time playmate Smith 7 aka Jolly Jill of ‘I’ve moved to the Seaside fame’ (scroll down for that particular  piece of genuine satire).

Many thanks to Judith Cooke of Ashby for raising the question ‘First Drink on Boarding’…

Of course Judith being one of only two higher end cruisers who need the comfort of CD for their in between cruising social lives, really wanted to promote the availability of unlimited champagne on her favoured Seabourn cruises and as did most comments on the thread consider it to be an alcoholic related question.

However, a quick scroll down to comment # 11 and up pops our Commodore Jolly Jill with…

“For me it would be a cup of tea”

What an absolute cracker. Solent Richard will wager our smudge is a right social ball of fire on her cruise table, Ha ha.

Of course the CD cruise experts are never really challenged anymore as to the accuracy of their statements. One particular one springs to mind coming from some chap called John Haworth of  Wokingham stated on…

Comment # 5

“…in bad taste was the Gotcha, when the Argentinian submarine was sunk”.

Surely it’s hardly credible criticising a newspaper’s embellished story when you can’t even get your own facts correct?

The Sun’s quotation ‘Gotcha’ actually referred to the Argentinian Navy light cruise ‘General Belgrano’ being sunk by a British submarine, HMS Conqueror.

The guy John obviously reads the Guardian.

Time for a health warning.

On no occasion should anyone dare to criticise the company.

What a mistake to make when Cruise fan, Truro, dared point out on the open forum that she hadn’t received decent aftercare service…

And it would appear this wasn’t the first occasion either as, as Mags, Cardiff wrote at Comment # 19…

“I no longer book with after they messed up a major booking big time. i wont relate the sorry saga here. Sorting the issue and acknowledging our complaint was also no easy matter”.

And of course there are those whocomplainjn on facebook cruise groups bu the luvvies wouldn’t know about those.


Of course the Mags, Cardiff comment was conveniently ignored and it became open season on the OP, a new member, who’d had the audacity to raise an issue.And so the issue rolled on over 6 days and  5 pages of comments with the usual suspects leading the charge against the complainant.

It would have rolled on longer had the OP not got the measure of the three protagonists when, at Comment # 59 Cruise Fan stated…

“This will be my last post on this forum as there are three people and they will know who they are, who are being deliberately provocative by unnecessarily and repeatedly going over old ground, and bordering on belligerence”.

like a red rag to a bull that remark galvanised the Matriarch into further action with a sneering and condescending…

‘I’m sure CD will eventually get over the loss of your business and as for negative publicity, I think many folk will realise a story has two sides and fair’s fair, we’ve only heard yours…However, as a positive, you never know, your experience might be used as a training exercise!”.  

One couldn’t help but smile at a final riposte from the OP…

“‘Training exercise?’ That statement has just confirmed my suspicions!”

Et tu Mrs M.

Of course while all this was unfolding there was no sign of any comment from the CruiseDot Admin or company reps. Amar’s head  kept well below the parapet following the forum cruise clash with the Matriarch?

Except that out of the blue something a trifle more than suspicious appeared.

Up pops a certain  Clive Freke from Kidderminster making his First post ( in August 2019) since site joining in March 2018. Now to any worldly wise forum contributor worth his or her salt that  looks suspiciously like a CD employee.

Now how far is Kidderminster from the Redditch HQ of CruiseDot one wonders?

While of course the third member of the belligerents that Cruise fan identified was ‘Topdeck’ who even carried the abuse across to another thread…


…with a rather unsubtle dig at Cruise fan’s predicament.

Interesting especially as elsewhere Topdeck himself  is in the habit of promoting CruiseDot’s  rivals, and one of Solent Richard’s favourite last minute agents, Cruise Nation…


No doubt that went down well at Head office.



Stay tuned to hear about  the demise of the Forum Cruise and Solent Richard’s take on the offer of a ‘Freebie’ cruise that no one wants to take.


Coming soon to the cruise blog you love to hate.


The Friendly Forum

Meanwhile the friendliness promoted not so long ago by the fragrant lizzie of Lymington appears to be wearing a bit thin…

Comment # 6 1fifthavenue

‘I looked at an Oriana cruise earlier today for November. £80 pppn ocean view including flights.”

Followed by Comment # 11 written by Lucy of Sutton…

“Oriana will not be operating at all in November as it will be on its way to China, so not sure which cruise you were looking at. Last cruise with P & O is about to end this week”.

Followed by response by 1fifthavenue at Comment# 15

“Earlier today there were multiple cruises for sale on Oriana. This was late November after our MSC Grandiosa cruise. There was also stuff on offer for the same time as that cruise in early November. Unless, dear Lady you assume I’m inferring something that’s not true? And of course the P&O website plus the agent I enquired with were mistaken I bow to your knowledge”.

Of course the chap was obviously confused as most likely the ‘claimed’ agent he enquired with was.

The ship in question was really P&O’s Oceana and alas there has been no apology to either Lucy or the membership for the chaps complete balls up as yet. 


Talking of Lucy Sutton once more, what a rather intriguing exercise she mounted over two threads. Certainly made one chuckle and more than likely gave a few laughs to the beleaguered staff at Carnival House Southampton…

I reported on a separate post that my recent cruise on Oriana had a delayed sailing from Southampton overnight and we were not informed.

I have gone onto the ABTA website and come across this:…”

…”My thoughts are, this is the principal. I am not particularly bothered about money, but the acknowledgement that we as customers did not get the cruise we booked and for that a recognition of this and some recompense”.

Finally drawing to a close with Comment # 32…

“We are with Saga and I think the claim would be about £35. To me, that is not worth bothering with.

P & O referred me first to my insurers and then to ABTA and gave me the contact details. I cannot believe the disregard for their customers. They are really not bothered about whether their customers are angry or not. They just want your money and when they have this, then care and customer service is non existent in my opinion”.

Certainly Solent Richard was amused by one or two comments on this most recent of the regular  ‘lets knock P&O Fests, but the one that really caught his eye was…

“I vote with my wallet everytime”.

And of course, as the opening paragraph of this latest update alludes to, if the wallet doesn’t extend to cruising at P&O prices then its all rather academic exercise anyway.


And it just gets better. Coming up and following considerable debate, the 2020 Forum Cruise…




What a fascinating evolution the cruise.Dot forum has undergone over the 10 years it has been in existence.  Once top of the  leader board for UK based cruisers (though it never remotely got near the popularity of Cruise Critic) its membership has dwindled in rough alignment with its lack of genuine core and quality cruising debate.

Indeed, the small coterie of regulars that remain – no more than two dozen on a rainy day – spend as much time waffling on about non-cruising, off-topic subjects as they do discussing actual cruising matters.

But of course they are not alone. The advent of Facebook Cruise Groups, for both cruise lines and cruise ships,  has seen all the UK cruise forums haemorrhage membership.

In fact those forums reliably surveyed and lampooned on this cruise blog are all generally viewed as being on life support in one form or another.

The fact that Cruise.Dot has in the past offered the odd ‘freebie’ obviously retains an appeal to some but those days are really in the past and the membership are now, with a few exceptions, reliant on the group for their main social life activity.

Hence the recent threads on free TV Licences for the over-75s…

and Retirement…

…have outpaced comments on genuine cruise reports like the excellent ones written by Bradbury, Wansbrough and Duncan.

Not that one should complain, particularly as there is always material for a good laugh hidden amongst some contributions. Take for instance the absolute cracker from the weirdo Glaswegian spinster who says at…

Comment # 71…

“I am watching less TV now than at any time”.

The only surprise there is that no one has beaten Solent Richard to a riposte in the order of…

Well one would have thought that’s been pretty obvious for many years. Especially  when one considers the times of day  and total hours she actually spends waffling on any number of cruise forums.

She certainly seems to live on them and use them as her only form of social life.

Meanwhile IT’S OFFICIAL…

This blog would like to congratulate Smith 7, aka playmate Jolly Jill, on her self anointment as an experienced cruiser. Well who’d have guessed…

Certainly she is, as mentioned previously, experienced in cancellations.

The Event of the Year

As we draw closer to what has to be considered as the event of the year, The Forum Cruise, a 3 day short cruise onboard P&O’s Arcadia.

It’s definitely not all gone smoothly and poor Amar incurred the wrath of The Matriarch by daring to suggest and take the lead by suggesting a meet up on the first evening…

Good God, didn’t he know nothing must be arranged without The Matriarch’s prior approval? Just thank the lord the poor boy hadn’t mentioned a group photograph. She’d have gone apoplectic.

Of course an organised meet up on essentially a booze cruise is going to be difficult as the bars will be pretty packed with punters having a bit more to spend than CruiseDot’s rather over generous £10 pp OBC.

One could be forgiven for thinking that the much heralded Forum Cruise didn’t quite live up to expectations. As Arcadia returned to Southampton posts and comments from the participants on the ‘cruise ‘ thread hardly managed 38 comments, a fair proportion  of those being from members not actually on the cruise and a definite lack of photographs.

One can only surmise that the membership weren’t prepared to invest in P&O’s internet time though amusingly Comment 39…

appeared once the ship was safely berthed back in Southampton and regular iPhone data was available.

Is it any wonder that facebook groups, members of whom have no qualms or worries about posting photographs and comments,  have taken over from cruise forums?

Solent Richard did hear, from a co-conspirator on the jaunt, that poor Amar wasn’t too happy to be reminded of his poor judgement over selecting Halfpintuk, Chester for the freebie on MSC Bellissima…

…which incidentally clocked  up 115 comments (three time that of the actual Forum cruise)

Having lapped up the free cruise nothing has been heard of Half-pint since 30 April: not even a summary and thank you.




With 5 days passing since disembarkation one would have thought that, in the absence of any real onboard reporting during the cruise, there would be an outpouring of congratulatory praise and  plethora of reports on the success of the event.

Not so. A splattering of threads by one or two individuals some even with a degree of malice aforethought. Goodness gracious, memo to Amar: Please ensure Duncan and Wansbrough are available for future Forum cruises.

Of course the one thing that can be deduced for certain was the grip of ‘the iron lady’, aka the matriarch Mrs M, who ensured that there would be NO photographs of and member attending the event. What a surprise and well done Trace of Yorkshire for being the only active forum member to question the photo embargo.

Even the normally photogenic Wilba was restricted to photographs of the ship’s interior and devoid of all life.



Winter/Spring 2019 Update


A happy New Year to all my followers from the CruiseDot Forum, all of whom I know look forward to the odd lampooning this blog offers.

Apologies also for the lack of regular updates over the festive period, due entirely to a rather adventurous  river cruise programme along India’s Ganges Holy River…

RV Rajmahal River Ganges Cruise.

…and a winter beach resort break in Thailand.

Not to worry though, there have been a few cracking snippets picked up over the period as the pantomime season continued over on CruiseDot, a number of scenes of which will be included in this particular update over the next few days.

But first warmest congratulations are extended to the latest member of the ’24 CLUB’, Spud from Newcastle. It would appear the not so popular ‘Mega Excited’ Geordie has now joined the Patriarch and Diva18 in membership of this exclusive grouping.

How Dare They (1)

But let’s start in chronological order and up pops another of my keen followers, the OP and member for from  Wokingham, who couldn’t resist having a moan at those cruisers who have the temerity to voice an opinion of their own and, what’s more, challenge the perceived wisdom of the self appointed World’s cruising experts…

And so they rallied together in some force as their cosy little enclave was being challenged and pre-conceived views come under scrutiny. Yet another reason why UK cruise forums now have such dire membership levels.

How dare these upstarts question the forumites perceived cruising wisdom.


Even the matriarch appeared shocked to the core. She  piled in, to let all who would listen,  to know she had written reviews (ostensibly about life in Cunard’s Grills)  under a pseudonym. You couldn’t make it up.

How dare They (2)

As is their want every now and again CruiseDot offers place or two on one of the larger cruise ships sailing out of Southampton.

So when, on 31st January this offer appeared…

…there were a number of subscribers willing to sign up.

Eventually deadline day, February 1st,  arrived and the lucky draw (?)  was made to select the two members who would sail on MSC’s news ship, Bellissima and at 3.17 pm the forum administrator announced that the two winners have been contacted via personal message.

Tension mounted as hopes sprung eternal while the two winners were given time to confirm their availability (?). One means to say, for ostensibly the largest cruise forum in the UK there were only a grand total of 9, yes NINE, volunteers.

And so at 4.19 pm Amar confirmed the winners were Duncan aka dst87 Falkirk and Halfpintuk, Chester.


Well yes, who was this Halfpint that had only joined the forum the same day, some 4 hours after the offer opened..

And that certainly didn’t please the more parochial members one bit. An interloper who obviously upset the cosy set-up of the ultra cliquey CruiseDot member’s coterie.

Indeed, one would have thought a tsunami had hit the forum such was the outcry when it was discovered that one of the chosen ones had only joined the forum on the day the offer commenced. 

The Matriarch was the first up in arms…

“Excellent winner. Quality blogging comes naturally to you but as it appeared to be offered to members of the forum, it’s a shame there wasn’t a minimum number of forum contributions in order to be considered for the experience.

Pot hunting pays”

Followed by…

“I dont know who halfpint is. I do think its a shame that it didnt go to one of the other forum members as its those that keep the forum going with regular contributions, that make this forum what it is.

“No Sour Grapes from me”

“I echo Mrs M (The Matriarch for those not in the know) in that to encoursge membership in the case of freebies…” 

“I agree Garfie, 

I am, and have been on other forums (not cruise related) that require a minimum number of posts before privileges can be gained.

Maybe Cd should consider this for future events,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

…before the Matriarch pitched in again less than 30 minutes after her somewhat biting and spiteful initial comment…

“Yes, names in the hat but as it’s a forum offering, then names in the hat should be ”proven” forum members, not those who see a freebie and apply for it rarely to be seen again. That has always been my feeling about forum freebies and I won’t change my mind on that score”.

Some folk do really have a sense of entitlement, don’t they?

Interesting and subtle comment (#56) by Halfpint …

“Well this isn’t the most welcoming of starts is it? I’m sorry some of you have felt that I didn’t deserve this opportunity. However, whilst I may be newly registered I have been a lurker following the forum for a while, particularly on behalf of my Mum who is a huge cruise fan. This forum has been a great source of information, tips and tricks when she has been on her travels.

I haven’t contributed in the past as I haven’t been fortunate to go on a cruise myself before, so had no personal experiences to add. I’m really excited that I will now be able to share this adventure with you even if it may be through a fresh pair of eyes”.

Interesting times then and this column can’t wait to see how the Bellissima blogging turns out. 

Of course, no problem for the other winner, Duncan has no hang-ups about being photographed.

It remains to be seen if Halfpint is equally bold.


COMING UPJolly Jill aka Smith 7 and the incredible Double Airbrush attempt…






“Hello and a warm welcome to all my avid followers from the CruiseDot forum. In the event any of you have landed on the wrong page don’t worry, one of the latest editions to the blog is a review of  Solent Richard’s recent cruise reviews…

 …both highly unlikely to be seen on the cruiseDot site:  


a 14 night adventure of Star Clipper…

Star Clipper – Java Sea Limited Edition Cruise

…sailing from Bali to Singapore.



 …and earlier in the year, on the World’s highest rated cruise ship, Europa 2: here’s the link…

Europa 2 – Asian Island Explorer




Today being December 1st, in theory the Season of Goodwill is upon us and what better time to produce an update on the carrying-ons of the membership.

Without any further ado, Merry Christmas folks…

…though judging by most comments not many will be enjoying Christmas at sea and certainly where CruiseDot is concerned another festivity has been put on hold for another year…


For the second year running Cruisedot was well beaten by Bolsover and one of Solent Richard’s favourites got the Silver award.

No doubt the Samaritans have been in touch with the Matriach.

This blog has always accepted fairness as a guiding principle and one has to give credit where credit is due. Hence one really has to admire the self belief of the small coterie of members (less than 20 on a good week) that really believe  that they are the one and only authority on cruising and are fully representative of the cruising community as a whole.

This couldn’t of course be further from the truth and one would only need to do a short comparator between  the level of cruising and cruise subject debate on Cruisedot and Cruise Critic to realise where they are coming from.

Of course one member, Smith 7, aka jolly Jill to her playmate friends can probably muster more expertise in one particular subject than any other member.

If there was an award for ‘most cancellations’ our Jill certainly is in a league of her own and heading for  the record in the ‘cancellation stakes’.

Including the most recent Oz adventure that’s now FOUR in almost as many years. The Fred Olsen world cruise went down the chute after discovering the cost of insurance cover;  the Thomson cruise to Haifa was a real clanger, especially after it transpired the reason for cancellation was a false alarm and the port of Haifa remained on the itinerary; and then the Celebrity cruise Singapore to Bali went ‘out the window’ when poor Plunky(?) contracted Wendy Wu tum.

No doubt her insurance company has now marked her card. One can hardly contemplate the premium increase at the next renewal date.   Ouch.

With the exception of the previously mentioned Cruise Critic, the CruiseDot forum is now level pegging with the other UK cruise forums where  where every conversation is distinctly levelled around ‘budget’ cruising.

A random selection to make the point…

“For years I yearned to go on an Oceania Cruise, but could never come to terms with justifying the cost, preferring to do three cruise a year for the price of one.

So when a visit was on offer from Cruisedot to lunch on the then brand new Oceania Marina I jumped at the opportunity, even though it meant a 450 mile round trip!!

The ship was stunningly beautiful with quality oozing out of nook and cranny. As to be expected the lunch was outstanding and would have put a Gala Dinner to shame on many mass market lines.

I came away with my enthusiasm flat lining as it came across as the emphasis on the ship was to spend heavily on the fine dining and drinking and little else when it came to entertainment.

Since that day I never been tempted to look again at Oceania. Not unless I come across a weeks cruise with them for a few hundred pound…………”

Reading this thread the message comes across load and clear.  For the majority of CD members that level of cruising is way out of their financial reach…Quote…

“The thought of booking a weeks cruise on an already expensive ship and not spending every night wining and dining in those additionally overpriced restaurants would be a complete waste to me. An additional expense I can live without”.

Interestingly Solent Richard and his wife were also on that same ship visit, enjoyed it and have since spent 5 weeks on two Oceania cruises…

Oceania Nautica – Dawn of Civilisation Cruise

Oceania Riviera – Mayan Mystique

…and is happy to correct a certain CD comment…

” Regardless of which of our restaurants you select, there are no dining surcharges”.

And the next…   …

“I read on cc that the 2020 schedules have been released and the pricing is ouch!!!!!

9 day cruise Sept 2020 SOTON departure inside cabin solo price exceeds £300 per day ! Oceanview cabin £400 per day!

I daren’t check other routes or dates”.

Shock Horror!

“I am a Celebrity fan but there is no way on this earth I will pay that. Their loss!”

“Because Celebrity is or was our line of choice Tony, That’s why we are trying other lines, To compare with our favorite. I do agree that some prices are eye watering but that applies to lots of other lines too. Jan.”

“We love celebrity but will not pay the ridiculous prices they’re asking at the moment. At £300+ per night I’d rather book one of Oceania ships”.

There you go then. Looks like Celebrity will be sailing empty ships in 2020. You couldn’t make it up.

And finally…

Well, that could only come from the forum’s very own Queen of Drivel, aka Smith 7…

“Nowadays, I enjoy wine with a meal but not usually more than a couple of glasses, except for the odd occasion when I will admit to being tipsy in company. (As some of my forum friends have witnessed)I also enjoy a G & T and have been known to enjoy the cocktails on offer on our more expensive cruises in days gone by. We used to enjoy a pre-dinner drink at home but for some reason got out of the habit. These days,we never drink at home alone.
OH is a real ale drinker and enjoys a pint with a meal in preference to a glass of wine”.

Really back to the old affordability again…

I have made many a comment on how I’m a cheap date, drinks wise! My husband is the same.

My theory on booze, hotel or ship or anywhere, is just because it’s ”provided” [won’t say free because hotel or ship, it’s paid for in some form or another], it doesn’t have to be drunk and I say that with having ”free” alcohol on tap on many an occasion.

As for our children, in my experience, I think they drink far less than we used to”.


“Which is my point really. If I paid a fortune for a DP, I would also want my money’s worth and that could amount to a large daily consumption of alcohol.”

“Alcohol isn’t a part of my life, hasn’t been a part of my life for over 20 years. I don’t even like the smell of it now”.

Glad I won’t be sharing table there then.

Well there you go, there are 5 pages and time is just too precious to list  the better ones however they currently end with this cracker…

“Like you Tracey, I only have one kidney and I try and moderate the amount of alcohol I drink. As much as I love Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc I find that if I leave the unfinished bottle in the fridge it tastes yuk after a few days”.

And finally for this update it’s Competition Time Folks…

One doesn’t get to hear about the odd social get-togethers that used to happen in Solent Richard’s day which is a surprise considering hoe ‘friendly’ the forum has become. Or maybe it’s that the real social folk have abandoned anonymous forums for the more active Facebook cruising sites.

Solent Richard recently came across an photograph of a CruiseDot social event at Solent Towers some years back…

It was actually an event celebrating P&O’s 175th Anniversary sailaway but what puzzles Solent Richard is that one guest, second right behind Wilba, appears to be going to some lengths to avoid having her identity seen by hiding behind a union flag.

Who on earth could that be?

Answers through the ‘comment’ section of this blog and the lucky winner will receive 2 weeks complimentary car parking for their next cruise.

Correct answer from member ‘T’ from Yorkshire. Yes, it was the Matriarch herself, Mrs M.

You couldn’t make it up.


As the long hot summer draws to a close it’s worth noting that over on CruiseDot the Pantomime Season is already in full swing.

This weekend saw the long anticipated ‘Forum’ cruise onboard Sapphire Princess which is obviously a rip roaring social success as there has been no reports from the ship back to the forum: and certainly no photographs: though that may be entirely due to the Matriarch slapping yet another embargo on photographs.

However, Solent Richard thought he would do the decent thing and add a photograph of Sapphire Princess as it sailed past Solent Towers Saturday evening…

UPDATE: Solent Richard’s earlier prediction regarding her embargo on personal photographs was spot on. Not one photograph with any forum member enjoying themselves  appeared on the Forum. Fortunately though there were many that found their way onto Facebook. A picture speaks a thousand words.


Regular readers of his section of SR’s blog will know he has often commented on CruiseDot forum administrators disappearing without a bye or leave to their adoring membership. The most recent, Jordan, has followed the same pattern as that of Dave, James and the odd females.

Notwithstanding this remarkable turnover CruiseDot then produce the most unbelievable  piece of cognitive dissonance yet seen, appointing a new forum administrator, Amar, who amazingly has never, prior to his appointment, had not experienced, sailed or visited a cruise ship…

Well done Bradbury for flushing out that little gem.

Then of course we had the usual issues with the software and the classic toys leaving the pram syndrome, aka Carol ‘Bowing Out’…


“Hi Everyone,The forum doesn’t seem to work for me any more. I would like to start a new thread, but can’t do paragraphs, so it makes it annoying to read. I can’t reply with quote, that becomes annoying too. I can’t access any other part of the site. So I will still look in, and I will post the occasional comment, I would now like to post the emoji knocking its head against the brick wall, but that doesn’t work either ………………………………………….. ………Carol”


That was at 7428 posts to Carol’s credit on 30th April. There followed 5 pages and 70 odd comments, many sympathetic and many urging Carol to stay…


Don’t give up, as frustrating as it may be.


The fact the ‘admin’ rarely join in these conversations suggest that they don’t read them or just ignore them.

BUT, the good news is, and I guess we all knew this, Carol never gave up and left, indeed, as this update goes to print her comment count has hit 8158.

Meanwhile one wonders who is using who. It certainly appears the CD sales department are treating folk on their mailing list with large degree of contempt.

Do they really believe customers would fall for this marketing  gimmick...’IT’s ALL ENDING’…


Then bang, 8 weeks later…


…All Inclusive’ miraculously reappears and continues for the next TWO Months as well…


As they say in Redditch campanologist circles, “pull the other one CruiseDot”

Meanwhile it would appear the CD team of agents are taking over, pushing more of their so called deals in the ‘New’ Topics column. A handful of protests are generally being ignored…


One has to laugh, in amongst the CD agents sits a thread from ‘Agent Tosh’, the forum’s bad loosing Brexit Remainer still foaming at the mouth while venting his usual left wing bile, drivel and Fake news.

Don’t these folk have a social life? One of his posts on the thread was made at 9.35 pm on a Friday evening.

Maybe those CD agents need the business. One missing Forum thread during 2018 has been the regular hyperbole surrounding the Travel Agent Award season. In keeping with the forum’s slide of regular membership it would appear that  CD has been relegated somewhat…

…behind the considerably cheaper and better packaged CRUISE NATION.

Talking of social lives, the odd early morning weekend screenshot reveals an intriguing array of non cruising posters up late at night ‘playing’ games…



But it’s not all bad news folks. Solent Richard is pleased to announce that once again there is a ‘Golden Opportunity’ for aspiring ‘seaside dwellers’ to own one of the prestigious apartments in Solent Towers…


Full details here…|0|2|100000|500000|99999998|0|0|3|3|1|1|1|PO139LW|45603:10084:0:_|2|7|0|2|1||3||||196|0:2147483647:0|1894|1|2|::&propertyNumOnPage=1

Watch every cruise ship arrive and Depart from the comfort of your own lounge or balcony. No need to drive from Cosham or Waterlooville to spend time at the seaside. Sociable and fun neighbours. An opportunity not to be missed.

Stay tuned for all the fun of the Forum cruise, some cracking one line half truths from the Matriarch and Jolly Jill, aka Smith7 and a quick satirical look at the forum’s resident Trot and his leftie Brexit hating sidekick who speaks such a load of tosh.




There would appear to be an omission on the current forum pages.

A member who is normally in the habit of writing excellent live reports and blogs has gone AWOL which is a great pity as Wansbrough is without any doubt  the top blogger on the cruiseDot forum.

While another member is currently on the MSC Seaview Inaugural cruise his offerings are not of the Wansbrough standard of live reporting.


CruiseDot members who wish to catch up with Wansbrough’s excellent daily pieces are invited to follow the link…

MSC Seaview (Inaugural Cruise) Preamble


For years SolentRichard has  suspected that a series of ‘private messages’ are exchanged  on  Monday mornings,  between various CruiseDot members,  with the sole purpose of giving Solent Richard something to write about. Hence the latest editions to this popular lampoon series….   How Dare They and  ‘What is the Point

, Are the Natives are getting Restless?  and When is the seaside not the seaside?


In Praise of Garfield – the Outing of Neil Down

Following his close shave with neighbour Smith7 aka Playmate JollyJill, Solent Richard’s old sparring partner, Garfield, is to be congratulated in following in the shoes of the said Solent Richard.

While rumours and questions abounded on the Q&A site as to the forum patriarch’s recent cruising record (and questions seemed to be regularly avoided by you-know-who) it was left to garfield’s mischievous streak to go full on with the question on the open forum…


Garfield initially wrote…

“Neil, clearly you’re sulking as your post has not received the response that you’d hope for. Perhaps it is clear that a good number of users on this forum are fed up with posts that aren’t relevant to cruising, and when politically themed threads happen anyone who doesn’t agree with a core group of left-leaning, remain supporting writers they are effectively shouted down and attempts are made to belittle them”.

…followed by the cleverly if sarcastically worded…

“Poor old Neil…
I shall call you Don Quixote from now on as you’re intent on tilting at windmills.
I think maybe we should start crowd funding on the forum to send you on a cruise as it would seem you haven’t been on one for a while.

A very concerned Garfield”

Now that really touched a nerve and 35 minutes after garfield’s crowdfunding post all was revealed…

“Ida and myself have not been well enough to cruise since April 2016….”

My word, that’s two years past and who’d have thought that Neil Down would have something in common with the Sockpuppet Queen, Diva18 who also seems to have given up on the cruising world.

When is the seaside not the seaside?

One can only imagine that CruiseDot were truly grateful when Smith7 took the hump from the rebellious ‘playmates’ forum  and decided once again it grace a forum she once criticised so intensely.

Particularly, as if one would believe, she is now a member of the ‘seaside’ community in Hampshire.


As Jolly Jill we had the tumultuous fanfare announcement heralding the abandonment of Crayford (no doubt much to the delight of the local constabulary)  and her and Plunky’s new  ensconcement at the seaside…


“Well thanks to our fellow cruising mates sevenseascoaster aka Wen and her hubby, we have made the giant leap from being city dwellers to living near the sea”.

CruiseDot members will of course recognise ‘Wen’ as Seacoasters, Hampshire.

Five pages of drivel followed, including the usual sarcastic comments about the possibility of the move being to Lee on the Solent: the likes of which regular readers have come to expect from the mates  Stirling resident bore, old Jimmy 5 Chins.

For months readers not on the ‘Private message’ circuit could only speculate where this particular seaside haven along the Hampshire coast actually was.

As we all know you just can’t keep the Queen of Drivel down and when a co-conspitator sent SR a link 17 months after the famous move, all was revealed…

Yep, Garfield… “especially as we are practically neighbours”

But, Garfield claims to live in Waterlooville which is almost 12 miles from the nearest seaside.

What on earth can the girl be on?

Well if that revelation was embarrassing the next one just piles on the old proverbial.

When CruiseDot’s Carol from Welwyn Garden,  opened a thread on ‘Lanyards’ little did she realise the mirth it would give this column

Step forward Jolly Jill’s new bestest friend, and the CruiseDot forum’s resident Matriarch – aka Mrs M –  to offer an early rebuttal with a glorious statement only she could make…

“I’m with the ”tacky” brigade I’m afraid”

Lymington Lizzie wasn’t much kinder either. Splutter, splutter, Solent Richard’s coffee all over the keyboard.


Are the Natives are getting Restless?

Well it would certainly appear so. A relatively  small band of members have such a reliance on the website for their social life that any disruption almost borders on a call to the samaritans.

Witness today, 30 April 2018, kicking off with threats to ‘Bow Out’ over the antiquated format of the site.

CruiseDot should thank their lucky starts that the weirdo Glaswegian spinster is the other side of the world: she’d definitely have something to say in Jocky Japanese.

But not is all lost. There is a new forum on the Block. Well, one that is being rebuilt with modern technology and which specialises in proper cruising chat and not just JollyJill type drivel. Dedicated cruisers should give it a try…


“What a load of Tosh”.

Well it had to happen didn’t it. The amazing disappearing thread…

Regular followers of CruiseDot may well have noticed that without warning a thread,  that was originally sat between the ‘The Adult Aurora’ topic initiated at 10.13 0n 21 February  and the ‘Tool Cruise’ topic initiated at 09.51 0n 22 February, suddenly disappeared.

Solent Richard was reliably informed that the said disappearing thread had been an assertion by an obviously sensitive soul that the forum rules had been broken and launched a rather vitriolic attack on member ‘Garfield’…

Needless to say the Admin, while removing the thread from the ‘Topic List’ but failed to remove it from the inner system. It can be found here…

And Garfield’s crime? He’d apparently questioned whether or not Toshtosh, aka Tony, had been a teacher.

In all probability he probably was. One can only imagine it was in needlework judging by the easy manner the poor lad was offended.

Of course that wasn’t the end of it and while subsequent comments, before the Admin woke up, indicated that poor Tony wasn’t as popular as he thought he was. As one half of the forum’s ‘Leftie Love-in’ he’s not averse to dishing it out himself but is obviously averse to a little ‘robust’ debate. So having backed himself into a corner a short 5 day sulk ensued while the toys were reinstated to the pram.

Meanwhile there were some interesting comments written before the thread was closed. The best humorous one being from the forum’s only real cruise blogger Wansbrough…

A snowflake just about sums it up while it was good to see Donna hankering after the SR days.


Coming soon…. Neil Down’s delusional nightmare and the Jolly Jill question of the year…“When is the seaside not the seaside”

Readers can also skip the next introductory paragraph by clicking the following links to the latest updates: though it really is recommended reading in order to understand the broader history and aspects of this particular forum.



Oh Dear Never Mind

They just don’t Get It

Welcome to Vanity Fair

Neil’s continuing Conundrum

2017 What does the future hold

2016 End of Year Report

2016 Festive Round-Up

Who do they think they are?

Send for the Samaritans

The 2016 Forum Cruise

Wakey Wakey CruiseDot

Come back James


Once regarded as the  Uk’s most popular web based cruise related forum  with thousands of members and a reasonable array of cruising experience that spanned most cruise lines, Cruise Dot –  as it is commonly referred to – has degenerated into  a shadow of it’s former self. On a good day  CruiseDot is capable of giving the likes of the ‘playmate and Cruise-Community forums a run for their money but this is generally due to the incredible amount of non cruising (Off Topic) irrelevance produced by its members.

Alas even the challenge of the more progressive and slicker Bolsover Cruise Forum has failed to generate any worthwhile challenge to the all dominant Cruise Critic and various Facebook cruising group sites.

Run as a commercial venture CruiseDot  nevertheless led  the way in UK ‘cruise chatter’ and on many occasions shared invitations to visit ships with its members: as opposed to other cruise travel agents who pass similar invites solely to their staff.  A number of complimentary cruises and ship visits are also often offered on an irregular basis in return for a ‘daily’ blog though recently the cruise blogs are being more frequently subscribed by staff.

Off topic subjects are allowed and  they have in the past been both lively and  healthy. Unfortunately it is now the ‘off cruise topics’ that really dominate the site – a measure of either a general lack of cruising knowledge and experience or, a more likely explanation, because so many members rely on it as their social life blood.

The forum certainly  appears to be drifting towards  becoming another ocean going version of Facebook similar to the UK’s Cruisingmates site – with the only difference being it has a slightly larger  regular core, around 25/30 members,  making the running. The casual visitor may be forgiven for thinking that it is another branch of NHS Direct: such is the number of ‘ailment‘ and ‘medical sympathy’ seeking contributions.

Moderation appears flexible though is sometimes erratic,  not helped by staff changes and rotations.  Technological issues have led to continued membership frustration. It is all well and good claiming to allow a high level of freedom of content but this, in reality, is not always the case. When a recent comment by a ‘one issue’  member contained strong criticism of a  rival internet cruise agent, attempts to respond to the criticism, by a member of the abused agency, was met with an administrative measure that effectively blocked any further response or defence . Highly unethical in the opinion of this blog.

The forum started with such promise but, in the opinion of this blog, failed to  live up to initial  expectations. This has led to a strong core of experienced cruisers heading for alternative forums and a number of dedicated ‘closed’ facebook pages like ‘Cruise People’

…and ‘The Original Cruise Lovers Connection’

…and ‘We Are Cunard Fanzine‘…


Meanwhile the CD site continues with technical problems and,  despite numerous complaints from the membership, including some pretty powerful ones…

Clicking the following links will direct the reader to specific topics…

May Quote of the Month

No fond Farewell

How Dare They

Oh the impertinence of Scandic of Harrogate who dared question the management on open forum…

“Anybody else owed a Berlitz Guide for writing a review?

I’ve been trying to get mine for weeks now, but all requests are just ignored.

Is this just another scam”?


It certainly didn’t go down too well with the Patriarch who was onto Scandic’s case almost immediately…

“No it is not a scam. Quite often these books are sent out in batches so if you have just missed a deliver it can mean a longer wait. I have known times when they have waited for the new edition so that you get an up to date version. On the whole they are worth waiting for and the information in them is pretty good with sometimes a mistake that some of the regular cruisers will find.

I have had at least one guide since 1996 and even had my ugly face on a few versions so I am a little biased. Anyway just hang on or drop a hint to the workers and it will arrive. …..Neil”

There you have it then. The Patriarch has earned at least one guide in 21 Years. And still he hasn’t answered the Q&A site question ...”when did Neil Down last cruise”

Of course it’s all very well for the Patriarch to criticise the CD management and Admin…

…but woe betide anyone other upstart. Not sure about the afore mentioned  Abysmal Quality but certainly abysmal hypocrisy abounds.

Here’s another classic from the Patriarch – or should it be ‘Mystic Meg’

“So it was easy to predict that the Loyalty section would soon stand alone and on its own feet and I, for one, look at what has happened with a smile and a lot of interest. …..Neil”

Can anyone point out where the Patriarch made this prediction? No, neither can he.

Talking of hypocrisy what about member Haworth of Wokingham’s valiant efforts to report back from his cruise onboard  Viking Star. He’s the first paying forum member to sail Viking Ocean even if he’s 2 years behind Solent Richard…

Viking Star – A Taste of Something Different


…and apart from the odd favourable comment on the ship and its entertainment there is little else other than sneering remarks.

The fact is of course that, stand fast maybe two members who cruise Cunard Grills and Seabourn, the remainder would find Viking Ocean well out of their league and certainly the quality beyond their comprehension.

While one can always guarantee ‘off topic’ subjects to be more popular than cruising ones, you can also guarantee the forum’s resident ‘Trot’ will find something to sneer at.

And so it was with the announcement of the Royal Engagement. Up pops the Widnes dinosaur with his  usual brainless comment…

“Another one jumps on the Royal gravy train!!!”

Really? Here we have a Royal Prince who has served his country well as an Apache helicopter pilot in Afghanistan and is in the forefront of rehabilitating wounded servicemen, engaged to a self made  American female with littler no airs and graces who herself does immense charitable work.

Of course it’s just typical of what we have come to expect from Mr Widnespewl: the man who removes food on the last day of his cruise to save a few bob at a motorway service station.


Maybe he would prefer to see his kindred socialist spirit, Emma Dent Coad, in Buckingham Palace. Read about it here…

What is the Point

Or of course this update could also be entitled…’What is the Purpose?’

Regular readers will not be surprised when Solent Richard once again turns his attention towards the ‘Queen of Drivel’, aka Jolly Jill, aka Smith 7, aka Perismo: all depending which cruise forum one reads.

November on CruiseDot just happened to kick off with this little gem from my favourite playmate and Hampshire neighbour…


Yet another post in the long series of CruiseDot regular moanfests that the world has come to expect from that backwater of budget cruisers, where it is plainly obvious the owners of CruiseDot don’t give a stuff for the vanity of the small circle of their core members.

Jolly Jill wrote

After years of the odd news bulletin from cruisedot, I have recently been receiving them on an almost daily basis.

The problem is, they are a total waste of time for those of us that can’t access any of the links.

It makes no sense does it”?

…and Judith Cooke responded…

I posted a review this morning. It would not allow me to put in name, address and e-mail. Their way of not sending the guides”?

Meanwhile B&D of Shepton Mallet wrote…

“This has been a bone of contention for some time now…….”

Certainly has dear and pretty fascinating it is too. Of course the management are well aware of the hold they have on the core membership – a small band of some-time cruisers who evidently don’t enjoy a normal life in the real world and are totally reliant on the site for their social life while they find safety and comfort in anonymity and mediocracy.

Frankly they’d be better off playing a recording of ‘Paint Drying’.

One could question what on earth is the worm on in that final clip above…

“I have booked more than 15 cruises with Cruisedot. I phoned a few weeks ago to alert the sales team to the problem with links (for some of us) on the forum. Unfortunately, my usual TA wasn’t available and the person who answered my call hung up when they realised that I wasn’t calling to book another cruise”.

OMG, They hung up. How dreadful. Cause for a police complaint there Jill. In the meantime it is  hoped that the team from Jolly Jill’s  Cruisingmates most favoured cruise agent, Cruise Select, don’t get to see that admission – 15 cruises booked: Wow.

Nevertheless, Solent Richard will soon be delighted to inform Jolly Jill of the delights of a cruise visit to Bali which he knows she will most gratefully appreciate…



Oh Dear Never Mind

Having highlighted, in the earlier ‘Welcome to Vanity Fair’ update,  the membership’s  gratefulness, vanity and untiring belief that everything about the  CruiseDot organisation is so so wonderful, it must have come as a terrible shock when they learnt that the 2017 Cruise Awards gave top place as Best Cruise Agency to Bolsover Cruise Club…


while a check of other winners…

Cruise International Awards – 2017 Winners

…reveals that in the great scheme of things CruiseDot could only manage FIFTH place out of 7…

Wow, down to 5th place: quick, phone the Samaritans, the membership will be devastated.

One cannot of course  help thinking that apart from the terrible technical issues –  that account for upwards of 20% of Forum activity – the forum also suffers from the attendance and demented scribblings of one or two semi literate socialist dinosaurs.

Here’s a recent offering from the initial sake of the great man himself…

He writes…“Momentum is made up of thousands of disillusioned young ones (not thugs)…”

In the eyes of the wannabe Liverpudlian momentum are obviously angels and not socialist thugs. No doubt the boyo believes it was the wicked TOOOORIES who bricked Angela Eagle’s Merseyside office when she challenged Jeremy Corbyn for the leadership…

And one wonders who was responsible for the human images hanging in Manchester at the start of the Conservative Conference last week…


Of course the guy has form when it comes to untruths. A bit like many of his socialist cohorts. But to try and make out that Momentum is full of youth really takes the biscuit: this kid is in total denial.

But there, nothing surprises particularly coming from the empty headed big gob with FA to say about real life. Surely  he would be better employed selling big issues outside Morrisons in Widnes: strewth,  what a halfwit and serial loser that guy is.

Perhaps he should change his avatar, here’s one recommendation…

Don’t forget, you can always catch up on the jc antidote store…



Welcome to Vanity Fair

It’s been some time since this section of the blog has been updated, mainly due to the fact that the CD Forum has become so mundane that little material of any satirical value has been forthcoming.

The usual pattern continued with the forum patriarch pursuing his weekly rant at the quality of the website, the Matriarch laying down the law while  re-afirming her loyalty and the bulk of threads and comments directed less and less towards serious cruising topics and more towards current affairs and game playing.

Then, all of a sudden, as if all Solent Richard’s Christmases had come at once when the forum equivalent of the relief of Mafeking occurred:  Member Bradbury opened a thread to celebrate the forum’s 8th birthday…

What followed was nothing short of an amazing exercise in self promotion vanity from a handful of members covering 7 pages or 63 actual comments.

Not that that the total number of comments can be taken at face value. The Matriarch actually registered 8 of them, 6 went to Smith 7 aka Jolly Jill and the OP managed 5,   while the overall winner was Diva and Jolly Jill’s fellow playmate,  Tracey from East Yorkshire. You couldn’t make it up.

Of far more interest of course was the discussion regarding ‘old’ members who had disappeared. Lists were made and names added of those old ‘stalwarts’, most with valuable cruising records, who no longer use the forum.

Funny that the majority left around the same time as Solent Richard and even more interesting that the majority are now active members of various Facebook groups where the chat is about genuine cruising matters and stories rather than the day to day drivel of life.

Talking of drivel and its place on a cruising forum, two recent  threads  rank highly in the drivel stakes have to be from the drivel queen herself, I hear Thunder…

What a scoop….“I was rudely awoken at 12.30 am by claps of thunder…” and of course, thought her forum friends would like to hear about it.

Meanwhile the second entrant was a fascinating look into the life of other members being  openly offered for discussion with a hypothyroidism thread…

The only surprise being that the Spud didn’t find time to comment on what most folk consider obesity.

That completes this little update as SR has used his allotted time for a bit of satire for this week. Do tune in again to read his take on the CD Members views on Jane McDonald’s TV show from Viking Sky,  Neil Down’s faux pas call for an embargo on visiting Myanmar and jc’s bloomer on Singapore.


It’s all here on he UK’s favourite cruise blog site

They just don’t Get It

It’s relatively easy to see why the CruiseDot site has diminished in popularity. Apart from the appalling technical issues that pervade so many of the membership’s comments there is also a real dearth of what could be referred to as ‘serious active cruisers. Can anyone remember when the Patriarch last cruised? Neil certainly goes to great lengths to avoid the question over on the Q&A site.

The fact is that in reality there are greater discussions on the individual cruise line pages of Cruise Critic than there is for all subjects on the CD site.

And of course not all the information, when it is offered is valid.

Again, even straying from cruising subjects some individuals are just plainly way off course…

” …BoJo isn’t actually all that popular with party members…”

Needless to say the day before, Thursday 28 September,  YouGov published a poll…

Hammy, 1fifthavenue is obviously as up on his politics as he is on cruising.

Then we have the Faux Pas of the month from our old friend the Forum’s patriarch. Who else could sally forth with  a remark that has to be embarrassing and rather  tactless on a forum owned by an company that actually sells river cruises in Myanmar…

‘We are just ordinary people but one thing we can and, in my opinion, should do is to advise any and all possible vacation visitors to that country not to do so. ……Neil”


Of course, in truth there aren’t that many, if any, forum members who could actually afford to take a river cruise along the Irrawaddy. There was one though…

Princess Panhwar on the ‘Road to Mandalay’.



Neil’s continuing Conundrum

One can always tell when the gaps between the cruises of the forum’s patriarch are getting longer. There is a tendency to introduce all sorts of threads either haranguing the sites Admin for this or that reason or complaining about the ‘comment useful buttons not being used correctly to afford him the adulation of the cruising public.

The latest craze is to regurgitate, yet again, a discussion on home security which in reality is a veiled attack on those thousands more users who have forsaken boring cruise forums for Facebook….

As usual the thread went ‘off topic’ somewhat with a walk down memory lane recalling forum members who no longer post. Of course months go by and no one misses these folk and then the flood gates open.

Then of course there is the regular creep and troll with  issues who feel it necessary to have a dig at a certain cruise blog. Step forward Pennbank and Spud-u-don’t-like…

An interesting interjection by Pennbank who obviously suffers from a severe dose of envy and has little in his arsenal but attempts to denigrate other people with his pathetic comments.

Certainly Solent Richard knows what his little game is and what his attraction with Cunard is in particular.  But also remember that this is the creep that, on numerous occasions,  has joined roll calls and then never turns up. Well, he turns up but keeps a discreet distance from the group and never identifies himself. All the hallmarks of a professional stalker if ever there was.

Rumour has it that the  membership are eagerly anticipating his views on Malcolm’s latest thread…

…though Solent richard will wager he will resort to type and stay well in the back ground.

Poor John.

So there you have it. The evening of Sunday the 5th March, one at 9.19 pm the other at 11.45. What a wonderful existence they lead.

Of course in The Spud’s case there are more holes in her rant than there are in Gordon Ramsay’s colander. Older forum members will recall it was she who implied that they owned the place in Windsor, and another one on the Gower when they were actually being rented because her old man worked away from Jarrow.


What is more to the point of course is that this was her first post since

Nothing since the 25 January? And this is the ‘Mega-Excited’ Blingy walking stick owner who supposedly should have only returned from an Azura cruise on 4th or 5th March and at time of writing this update (19th  April) the world still hasn’t heard a peep on what happened – Not even the cruise Community forum where she raised such a fuss about her excitement…

Surely not…no…


Followers of this section of the blog can also update themselves on the antics of the CD forum’s most ridiculed member.. A socialist dinosaur and natural born loser who amuses and entertains the membership with crack-pot political rants.

Why not take a peep at the latest update with ‘Life on Planet Widnes’

Sometimes you couldn’t make it up…


2017 What does the future hold?

That’s a good question. It certainly didn’t take long for the forum’s Patriarch to start a thread…

Are we so overburdened with life’s troubles?

Has the Christmas/New Year Malaise set in?

Have we nothing new to add to this scintillating Forum?

Nine of the current threads on the page of fifteen threads, before I added this one, are “Word Games” which probably makes it the dullest page for years. 

Maybe it is a good thing that we have these games, I never thought I would ever see me write such a thing,  but what the dickens would it look like without them. 

So well done all you Word Game Admirals of the Fleet for at least sustaining some interest in cruising albeit in a roundabout way. …..Neil”

Of course the question could be asked of Neil… “when was your last cruise and are we getting a review?”

In reality though its the usual old thing, what started as a decent cruise forum has been hijacked by a small coterie whose lives have become dependant on this forum for their daily bread and butter. While cruising happens to be a common link there is little in the way of serious cruise discussion.


Whatever happened to the brave new world heralded  all this years ago by Lizzie Lymington? A quick check reveals dear lizzie hasn’t been around for a while…


Oh dear.

Of course there will surely be an award ceremony along soon that will generate an inordinate amount of back-slapping led by the Matriarch herself. But CrusieDot aren’t the only web based Travel agents to win awards.


Solent Richard’s latest TA, Six Star Cruises…



And what price loyalty these days. The grapevine is hot with news of those past customers moving their business to the more likeable and popular  John Campion…


Even better if your a member of Facebook, John is on hand to offer a personal service…




2016 End of Year Report

The year continued in a similar vein as previous years with the usual moans about problems with the website and moans about games players dominating the forum. Unfortunately CruiseDot isn’t immune from the fact that the majority of its members lack any broad or serious cruising experience, are usually interested in cost cutting and cheap choices, and of course, lack any real meaningful life, social or otherwise. The amount of drivel, game players  and off topic subjects amply supports this theory.

Indeed, a fine illustration…

“My friends relative has just won this years Apprentice.

She actually messaged me this morning to thank me for being so nice…”

Of course, this let the cat out of the bag for poor Nick _C of Worthing…


…who had the audacity to complain.

You guessed it. The sisterhood, led by the forum matriarch, sprang into action…


“You have just been rather unpleasant to one of the nicest members of the forum” she wrote.

Poor Nick, lesson learn’t, don’t tangle with the sisterhood.

Meanwhile, on a not too dissimilar theme, congratulations to my old mate jc for his perception in exposing that old fraud and Glaswegian weirdo, Annie…


Good to see someone not just paying attention but being prepared to challenge. The lad is obviously better at spotting frauds than playing politics, as his webpage will testify…

And hey, no sisterhood response. Kinda tells a story really. Illegitimi non carborundum

2016 Festive Round-Up

Not unlike a clutch of other UK cruising forums the level of genuine cruise related activity on the CruiseDot site remains woeful.

Hence a recent appeal by the forum’s self styled father  and Patriarch figure, Neil Down, bemoaning the fact that the level of new topics remains abysmal…



That 6th line probably hit the nail on the head because slowly but surely the majority of members who possessed a modicum of real cruising experience have long  abandoned this particular forum and there really is a limit to what budget cruisers can talk about.

A prime example was a recent report of a cruise on board Viking Star by Harry, Hastings. A great report albeit one year after Solent Richard’s review on the same ship…

Viking Star – A Taste of Something Different

…and of course, well out of the range of the majority of members: hence the little response.

On a brighter note it would appear that two members have returned to the fold having abandoned the even duller Cruisingmates forum. High expectations are expected from Wansbrough who cruises to a high standard though the forum can brace itself for Smith7’s, aka playmate Jolly Jill, 77 day ‘porthole’ review on Boudicca: providing of course this cruise isn’t curtailed as the last one was…see 2016 Festive Round-UP on…

Cruising Mates

Otherwise the only excitement to report in this festive update is the matter of a certain member (Islandgirl) having the audacity to challenge the patronage of the Forum’s Matriarch…   Comment # 56 and 61…



No doubt the ether was all abuzz with  PMs and emails flashing hither and thither between the sisterhood, all discussing this Island upstart.

How dare she refer to a Queens Griller as being bitchy. Tut,tut.

By way of a casual observation, one would have thought that the matriarch’s time could be better spent getting on with organising the 2017 Forum Cruise. It’s definitely gone a little quiet on that front.

It’s surely a trifle ironic then that while the CruiseDot forum continues it’s downward slide one past member with an exemplary cruising record has seen, since his departure from the forum, his blog move from strength to strength and has now received an award from…

Top 80 Cruise Blogs and Websites To Follow in 2021


Congratulations also to Duncan whose ‘Duncan Writes’ also features in the awards.

And finally a very Merry Christmas to all my readers from the CruiseDot Forum. Stick around for forthcoming ‘live’ reviews from  Queen Mary 2 and P&O’s Oceana: plus a return cruise aboard Europa 2 and something a little different, Star Clipper.

Happy Cruising Christmas…


Who do they think they are?


Imagine Solent Richard’s mirth when he arrived home from his Seabourn Sojourn cruise to a fellow conspirator’s email alerting him with a link to yet another CruiseDot Forum member’s most recent – in a series  – of moans regarding the Administration of this once good forum.

Step forward the forum’s patriarch, the indefatigable Neil Down…


“I have often felt that what is said and the concern with which some articles are written on here, The Forum, show that we care but that we are just chuntering away to ourselves”.

Spot on there Neil. One can only wonder however why it has taken so long for either you or any other member with any real cruiing experience, to work that out.

Any semblance of serious debate and discussion long left those pages as they became a playground for games players, the odd troll and a few women who have nothing else in their lives other than chat with a degree of anonymity  from behind a keyboard.

The Cd forum has gone the same way as the playmates forum…

Cruising Mates

who don’t even bother to list who is online at any given time: the figures are that dire while the Cruise Community site offers little better, a group of a dozen who spend more time ‘off topic’ than they do on cruising.

Thank God for Cruise Critic and the Facebook groups.

Send for the Samaritans


September saw shock waves reverberating around the forum when a member reported that agent John Campion was leaving. The first that was heard of this monumental event was when clients of Agent John received emails from other agents informing them their accounts had arbitrarily transferred to agent xyz.


Well done ‘All at Sea’ for the prompt OP which obviously caught one or two of John’s loyal supporters who are still reading from the other staff hero departure first reported  on this blog…

<a href=”#James1″>Come back James</a>

but not discussed on the open forum

For two days (22 posts) the expected and usual tea-towel platitudes were forthcoming. Poor Mrs M must be devastated: at least 5% of her myriad of offerings sang the praises of CruiseDot’s equivalent of the ‘special one’.

Then there were the other hilarious snippets.

Smith 7, aka Jolly Jill on Playmates, (remember her calling the CD Admin ‘desperate’ from the safety of CM’s lounge?), who recently admitted, following a Wendy Woo costing exercise and revelation on this blog, that she had paid well over the odds for her Far East cruise in November. One can only surmise Agent John’s glee as he banked the commission.

Of course there is a possibility that the  luvvies could soon be re-united with Agent John: word reaches Solent Richard that GoCruise may be a place to watch. Remember, you heard it here first.


Then the Spud -u-like with her offering….”I was exchanging emails with John all morning yesterday.” One wonders whether Agent John was the same agent that spuddy has been vilifying on the ‘cruise Community’ forum having got her Azura fly-cruise air preferences all wrong?


And then that little gem from the OP regarding the Forum cruise that doesn’t seem to be happening…”Thanks Mrs M for your answer, seems Cunard are missing a trick”.

Cunard missing a trick?  They’ll more likely be thrilled not to have to watch all those wine boxes being embarked and the subsequent bar sales increase.

Talking of the Forum Cruise, there must be a very limited choice if Cunard and P&O are out of consideration. All the others will confiscate the wine boxes. Somehow one detects a distinct lack of enthusiasm. Anyone offering odds on it not happening?

And Agent John’d departure looks as though it isn’t the only subject that will keep the Samaritans busy.

Anyone who wonders how such a promising cruise forum fell from grace so quickly, they need look no further than this little gem…



“Hi Every one

I just wondered, who all the people are that view a thread, but don’t comment. Some threads have over a 1000 views but only 20 or 30 comments.

Political threads seem to get the most response, with cruising threads often getting the least”.

Well, Er yes.

Aptly summed up of course by one of the more brighter members…

Comment # 2…

“A good question.

The forum went through a phase where some people thought things were too robust or argumentative, but the numbers contributing were much higher when that was the case”. 

One prime example is of course this question that recently appeared…

Private excursions in Bali, Indonesia.

“Hi everyone. We are doing some research for our forthcoming S.E Asia cruise next month. 
We like to book private excursions with local people if we can and wondered if anyone could advise on excursions in Bali.

We have found a company online called ‘with locals’ who do a 2 day package but only charge for the driver, leaving us unsure about how much cash we will need during the 2 days.

Any advice would be most welcome. I am asking on the forum rather than the Q & A pages because it’s easier.


Wow, 660 hits but only 9 responses: of which 3 were from the OP herself.

Perhaps Jolly Jill should ask the question on Cruise Critic where one of their members could have offered a comprehensive response. After all, Solent Richard has visited bali twice in the last 3 years and is scheduled a cruise visit in 2017…


That’s him on Kuta Beach. There is so much to do and see on the island of Bali but of course, you do have to put your hand in your pocket.


The 2016 Forum Cruise


Congratulations are due on the unmitigated success of the 2016 CruiseDot Forum Cruise on Queen Mary 2 earlier this month.

And a big well done to the Forum’s Matriarch, Mrs M, for her steadfast perseverance in plugging the event to the extent the pre cruise hype reached a staggering 32 pages (316 comments) before ending like a damp squid with just 5 post cruise comments.

Equally of importance was the fact that the UK’s self proclaimed largest membership forum  managed to increase their attendance over last years ocean going soiree by a whopping 12.5%:  or in simple terms 9 members as opposed to 8 last year.

So one can well understand however that a thread by Hawkinsmg, proclaiming that she had become a grandmother (? Does that pass the ‘so what’ test on an essentially cruising forum),  proved far more popular amongst the membership.

Of course the purists on the forum will declare that there was a ‘review’ elsewhere and thanks must go to the well respected blogger Duncan for that for, without him, little would be heard of the high time on the high seas. That at least hit the 60 comment mark which included Duncan’s live blogs from the cruise.

Equally interesting to note was that on another forum, who actually had three members attending this cruise, the same Duncan thread reached over 40 comments plus separate reviews of the stateroom and remastering.

Any reason for this? Well a clue to the answer  may just be hidden on a rival forum with a comment…

“Yes, sorry. Mrs. M warned me that Plunky is anonymous and I wasn’t sure whether to mention him or not!”

Mrs M warned? Anonymous? Really? The Matriarch taking on the role of censor. How many other attendees did M arbitrarily airbrush out?

You couldn’t make it up.

Of course, on that other forum someone with an axe to grind couldn’t resist a swipe at the Matriarch…

“Mrs M? Who is Mrs M? Is she a member of CM?”

Good old Tomvet, The gift that keeps on giving.

Meanwhile, and well worth a mention because it is linked with the original thread, was a comment by the forum’s resident trot and all round dimwit, jc…

“Have a good cruise everyone.Keep an eye out in Le Manche on Sat night for Britannia.
I’ll be on the top deck waving my little Union flag.

Not the sharpest knife in the box is the member for Widnespewl and obviously geography is another subject he ain’t hot on.

As can be seen from the two ship’s comparable courses on that Saturday early evening, there was zero chance of any mutual flag waving.

Wakey Wakey CruiseDot

Yet another sign that all is not well over on the CruiseDot with the Forum’s patriarch, Neil down, openly calling for action…

Bizarrely Neil and many other members obviously still live under the illusion that this is ‘their’ forum and that the company actually pays attention to what they say.

WRONG. It is a marketing tool and always has been, hence nine pages and 89 comments later the Admin continued to ignore the thread.

Even more bizarrely some of the membership even believe that they would maybe be entrusted to act as moderators. Can anyone imagine these anonymous folk, afraid to even show their true faces, be entrusted to invigilate others comments?

Needless to say one or two brave members produced comments somewhat unfavourable towards the Admin and, quick as a flash, the forum’s resident matriarch, the rather fragrant Mrs M, sprung to the company’s defence…

…followed by a full blown ticking off to those who dared air a comment…

Well done Annie, Glasgow and Topdeck for having the gall to question the system.

Meanwhile of course this was the same matriarch who, on 5 May,  commented…

“…blogs are an integral part of the forum…”

Really? Would that be the same Mrs M who in June sailed around Britain on Queen Elizabeth, no doubt in a Grill Suite, and though she was posting almost daily  on the forum, never once mentioned anything about the cruise or life onboard, let alone dining with Cunard Facebook Fanzines while visiting Liverpool.

Truly incredible …and unlike Mrs M to be shy.

While on the subject of Admin not giving a hoot, readers may recall the case of the banned member Tomvet returning under the new Pseudonym, FamilyGuy Bailemagash. He then volunteered  and was selected for the visit to MSC Splendida. Solent Richard understands that a number of members raised objections and eventually Administrator Rachael removed him from the list while giving the assurance that FamilyGuy would again be banned. Despite those assurances FamilyGuy’s screen name remains on the board as a full member.

Stop Press: (15 July 2016) In another example of the power of the internet, and after a degree of  pressure by this blog,  it is pleasing to report that the CD Admin have at last taken action and Tomvet, aka the troll FamilyGuy, has once more been banned…

About time too.

Come back James

An interesting rumour has landed on the desk of Solent Richard. It concerns the possible use of a sock puppet- not unusual for a number of members – by a member previously banned from the CruiseDot forum.

It transpires that today, 31st May, the CruiseDot forum announced the winners of their MSC Splendida Balcony competition and that possibly a banned member, using another sock puppet was selected.

Information received, and Solent Richard stresses it is still an infant rumour, indicates that a certain ‘Familyguy’ may just not be all that he seems…

That’s him last on the list. Watch this space folks because who do you think is predicting a Splendid cruise soon?

Yes, you’ve guessed right at position 14) – none other than the cruisingmates/playmates Walter Mitty  character, and previously banned member Tomvet. The lad even had the gall to announce it on the CM Forum…

CruiseDot Splendida competition update: 2 June...

Well what a difference 48 hours make…

Oh dear. It would appear ‘Familyguy‘ has been replaced by a TBA.

Presumably the acronym for ‘To be Avoided

Solent Richard has often remarked on Tomvet’s limited intelligence so did he really imagine he could pull this off. As long ago as November 2014 the Irish meat inspector, and part time bag carrier for EU officials, had been sussed out…

And thanks again to Wilba, with the support and assistance of  Mrs M,  Annie,  Tracey and other ladies,  Rachal at CruiseDot in sussing out another cruisingmate sock puppet who had already been banned for his female harassing comments. Looks like a quick edit may be required…


Solent Richard is really looking forward to the conversation between Mrs M and Jolly Jill on the QM2 in July when the subject of JJ’s Facebook friend Tomvet crops up. After all, what was that Mrs M posted on the MSC Splendida thread…


One can only assume that Familyguy will not be reviewing MSC Splendida soon, if ever, and particularly not on CruiseDot’s forum. Now what was that about “being the gift that keeps on giving“?

Indeed, with Tomvet as an example, one sometimes wonders how do you get to be a playmate?

Is there some sort of exam you need to fail?

Now we come to the crux of the matter though. Had James Crossland still been running the show Familyguy (aka the banned Tomvet) would also be showing a ‘Banned Member’ status under his screen name.

It would appear that Rachel is somewhat hesitant in taking this action which is puzzling. She knows who Familyguy is: what’s keeping her.

Even more puzzling is that to date there are no comments on the thread regarding the changes.

Have members been subject to an embargo notice?

Watch this space.


Never one to resist a side swipe at  CruiseDot, though always from a safe distance, member Smith 7, aka Jolly Jill of playmate fame, had a go…

Solent Richard is curious as to the difference between ‘dross’ and ‘drivel’ but at least it has now been officially recognised.

But has it. ‘The man who took my booking’?

Hmnnn, funny that on ‘home ground’ the Queen of Drivel chose to name that man…

Double standards? You couldn’t make it up.

What is infinitely more amusing though is that she who claims to be so careful with the pennies and thoroughly researches future cruises, and assuming she paid the £4,999.00 flyer price for a sky suite,  fell for that somewhat overpriced package obviously seduced by the ‘whistlestop’ pre-cruise element. Excellent piece of marketing by CruiseDot though should have tried Cruise Nation

Sky Suite and 2 night Singapore stay….£2,099.00

Wendy Wu 12 day tour Vietnam and Cambodia…£1890.00 (less UK flights of course)

Stay tuned folks…


Far Eastern Trilogy – Part 2 – Good Morning Vietnam

Siem Reap

Siem Reap, One way to do…


And so back to the complaints. Yet another thread started by the old sage and forum veteran, Neil Down…

Neil Down Word game rant



Neil Down Games rant 22 April

Be careful what you wish for Neil. It could all be about children, grandchildren and what ailments one now has – I guess you know where I’m talking about.

Of course the real problem with some of these so called forums is they don’t have the genuine cruising membership anymore and have become virtual ‘social talking shops’ for those who don’t have a real life. The real cruisers have all upped sticks and joined the Facebook cruising groups where trolls are eliminated by virtue of the fact you need an identity.

This site has seen such a fall in numbers online it had to adjust the parameters of ‘how many members are online at any given time. Where it used to be ‘actually’ online it now logs them in for 24 hours to give the illusion there are greater numbers online. Two screen shots from earlier this morning (09.24) prove my point…

members on line 25 April 2016

There is no way 809 members were ‘currently’ online as the superimposed example shows.

It’s a similar story over in Whitstable. Your old mate Dave has been reduced to completely removing his members online statistic box, so embarrassing were the figures.

Having said that one particular thread over there appears to be getting more than its fair share of attention and is making ‘headlines’ on Facebook. One wonders how long the ‘Master & Commander takes before removing it..

Probably due to the nature and stupidity of the the member who deprived another cruiser of their luggage. 

May Quote of the Month

Solent Richard and many Facebook friends have been rather amused followers of Duetto Staines‘ daily CD Blog while he has been on board Queen Victoria on her World Cruise. It’s hardly been riveting stuff compared with another blog on the same full World Cruise…

…which additionally contains hundreds of excellent photographs.But hey, it’s provided considerable degree of mirth.

So it was more than interesting to see another CD member and old chum of Solent Richard, JohnR, Chippenham start a thread entitled “Time for a New Slot”…

Just 17 minutes after it started this little gem appeared…

Blogs an integral part of Forum

“…blogs are an integral part of our forum…”

Really? One wonders at the mysterious silence that reigned between Hong Kong and Capetown on the same cruise. You couldn’t make it up.

No fond Farewell

Breaking News. 17 March 2016

It has been brought to Solent Richard’s notice that James Crossland appears to have jumped ship from the CruiseDot and has moved to

Interesting times. Did he jump or was James pushed?  Having been at the helm of the CD forum during its fall from grace heaven knows what the company’s corporate bankers will demand next.

Even more disturbing is that James, ever popular amongst the forum luvvies, has had no forum epitaph, no fond farewell and no good wishes. Infact the square root of FA as if the poor chap has been air-brushed from history.

In the immortal words of Windsor Davies…“Oh dear, how sad, never mind“.

One thing is for sure though. James certainly knows where the odd skeleton is buried and might just be inclined to share a few secrets with you know who.



“Another current and noticeable absence from the ‘friendly community site’ is any mention of a meeting between two of the friendly forum’s most prolific posters, one notable by absence  for some time from the forum while Duetto is regularly making daily updates on his world cruise but no mention of any invitation yet for drinks in a Queens Grill suite with the fellow member or members of Solent Richard’s We are Cunard fanzine. How odd”.

The power of the internet is truly amazing and to a lesser extent, this blog. Incredibly, less than 10 hours after posting the above comment,  a cryptic message appeared on the next days blog effectively confirming the above comment had been passed on.

Even better, 24 hours later, the Queens Grill silence was broken on the arrival at Cape Town.

7 responses to “

  1. Richard I love your blog, your reviews are excellent and I respect your cruise opinions. I am however disappointed that you see fit to engage in this type of post on your own blog or not. I have no hesitation in completing my full correct details using no aliases for this comment. In my world those with integrity stand tall and be counted.

  2. Thank you Richard. I do so hope that you will post more soon. In particular more on any Carribean ports and what to see. I travel solo (no moans about supplements from me too long running a very successful company not to live in the real market orientated world) and worry somewhat about safety. Despite being a very trim 60 I doubt I would attract sex slavers but just need to consider where is safe for me alone

  3. Hello Richard,
    Just catching up and have to say two things :
    1) You do provide in your personal style simply the facts on the places and ships you have been blessed to be on. Your photos compliment your reviews which are a great background for us wanting to learn more.

    2) As you know having been a more active member of CD and others over the last few years I tend to use Facebook and other forums to avoid some of the needless criticism I have seen. In terms of your personal blog, it is your blog and you are entitled to narrate whatever you elect to as long as it is not offensive and in a polite way. This you do fully , thank you.
    It does not take much effort as you know to know the person behind an alias and your blog provides the information.

    All the best / Rob

  4. Pingback: Cruising Mates | Solent Richard's Cruise Blog·

  5. Pingback: Bolsover Cruise Club Forum | Solent Richard's Cruise Blog·

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